Slut Jokes / Recent Jokes

I grew up in a very conservative town where the promise rings and class rings were often sold side by side. So the girls were basically saying, “Mom and Dad, I promise not to be a slut until I graduate.”

It's Father O'Brien's night to hear confessions, and there are four nuns in the lineup. The first nun goes into the confessional and says, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned, and I should let you know right off that I touched a man with my finger!"
"Oh lass!' Tis nothin', you could have been in a crowded elevator or some similar place," the priest says.
"Oh no, Father!" exclaims the nun. "I touched him right on his private parts!" >
"You slut! You filthy tart!" screams the good father. "Say a hundred Hail Mary's and dip your finger in the holy water on the way out of the church!" Which she does.
The second nun enters the confessional and says, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned, and I want to say that I held a man with my hand."
"Oh lass!' Tis nothin', you might have stumbled and he lent you a hand," the priest says.
"Oh no, Father!" exclaims the nun. "I more...

Judi went to Sherry's place to tell her about a horrible experience she had the previous night with this guy she took home. Sherry asked, "Well, what happened when you got there?" Judi said, "After sex the S. O. B. called me a slut!"
"What did you do then?" sherry asked, somewhat shocked. Judi said "I told him to get the hell out of my bedroom, and take his eight friends with him!"

Jenny was complaining about her date to her girlfriend Emily, "The creep called me a slut" she huffed.
"Thats awful her friend exclaimed. What did you do?"
"I told him to get out of my bedroom," Jenny replied "and take his friend with him."

If she's sitting, standing, sleeping, moving, eating, dying, or dead, she is a slut.

This pimp needed the best slut he could find for a special, perverse client, So he went to each of his whores, trying to find out who had the most talent.
He went up to this one slut and asked, "What can you do that is special?" She replied, "I can give you head for 3 hours straight!" Well, the pimp didn't want his client dick to get sore, so he went to another girl. He asked the same question. She replied "I can get 2 fingers and 3 dicks in my cunt all at once!" That still wasn't good enough for the pimp. He went to a third slut and asked the same question. She replied, "I can give head while singing the national anthem all at the same time!" The pimp was impressed by this so they went back to his house. The girl ripped off both of their clothes and turned off the light. She started giving him head and singing at the same time. The pimp was amazed, "Wow you have some real talent", he said. She said, "Thanks but don't turn on more...

I cannot believe what a complete slut you are.