Soap Jokes / Recent Jokes
Hotel LettersThe following letters were taken from an actual incident between aLondon hotel and one of its guests. The hotel submitted the letters to the London SundayTimes for their humor column....Dear Maid, Please do not leave any more of those little barsof soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the sixunopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in theshower soap dish. They are in my way.Thank you,
S. BermanDear Room 635, I am not your regular maid. She will be backtomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dishas you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of yourKleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I lefttoday which my instructions from the management is to leave 3 soaps daily. I hope this issatisfactory.Kathy,
Relief MaidDear Maid, I hope you are my regular maid. more...
A priest was asked to dinner by one of his parishioners. As soon as he sat down at the table, he couldn't help but notice that the dishes were the dirtiest he had ever seen in his life.
"Were these dishes ever washed?" he asked his hostess, running his fingers over the grit and grime.
"Oh, of course, Father," she replied. "They're as clean as soap and water could get them."
Although he felt a little apprehensive, he blessed the food anyway and began eating. Despite the dirty dishes, the food was delicious and he paid his compliments to his hostess.
When dinner was over, she took the dishes outside and called, "Here Soap! Here Water!"
A man and a woman made passionate love in the back seat of his car, in the process they managed to throw all of the clothes out the window and down a steep cliff. After the sex the woman asked for a pack of cigarettes, the guy said but Im naked and all of my clothes are at the bottom of the cliff. She convinced the man to get the cigarettes, and to act like a statue when some comes near him.
So the man got two packs of cigarettes when a car of three nuns pulled up. He freeze like a statue like the woman said. The first nun came up to the man and pulled on his penis until he dropped a pack of cigarettes then said oh! a cigarette dispenser. Then the second nun comes up to the man and pulled on his penis which made him drop the second pack of cigarettes the nun said oh! a cigarette dispenser. The last nun came up to the man and pulled on his penis, and pulled, and pulled then she said oh! a soap dispenser.
A priest was asked to dinner by one of his parishioners. When he sat down at the table, he noticed that the dishes were the dirtiest that he had ever seen in his life. "Were these dishes ever washed?" he asked his hostess, running his fingers over the grit and grime.
She replied, "They're as clean as Soap and Water could get them."
He felt a bit apprehensive, but blessed the food anyway and started eating. The meal was really delicious and he said so, despite the dirty dishes.
When dinner was over, the hostess took the dishes outside and called, "Here Soap! Here Water!"
Rules that guys wished girls knew..........
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down.
3. Don't cut your hair. Ever.
4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see
if he can find the perfect present, again!
5. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an
answer you don't want to hear.
6. Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it.
7. Don't ask him what he's thinking about unless you are prepared
to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and
monster trucks.
8. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like
every other cat.
9. Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.
10. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
tides. Let it be.
11. Shopping is not sport.
12. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
13. You have enough more...
Q: Why do they use powdered soap in the navy?
A: Because it takes longer to pick up.
One day a kid asks his mom if he can take a shower with her. She says, "Sure son, but don't look up and don't look down."So they're taking a shower and the kid reaches up for the soap and he says, "Woo mama! What are those?"She says, "Those are my headlights." The kid says "Ahh."Then he drops the soap and bends down to get it and he says, "Woo mama! What is that?" and she replies back with, "That is my garage." The kid says "Ahh."The next day he asks his dad if he can take a shower with him. The kid does. As he's scrubbing himself with the soap, he drops it. When he picks it up he says, "Woo daddy! What is that?" The father replies back, "That's my limousine."That night he asks his parents if he could sleep with them and they say, "Sure, just don't look under the covers."Then in the middle of the night he decides to take a peek. And he says "Wooo mama! Look, daddy is parking his more...