Steroid Jokes

McGwire said he would have confessed to steroid usage sooner, but he just didn't have the balls to do it.

If they want to stop kids from using steroids, they have to stop calling it a performance enhancing drug. Cause who doesn't want to enhance performance? Call it a scrotum shrinker or a man tit developer. That should slow it up.

I found a mouse in my apartment the other day. What is it that makes mice able to eat all of your shit regardless of where you store it? I had a bucket of weight gaining supplements that I'm taking (because that shit doesn't come in single servings, it only comes in the 50 lb. industrial sized paint bucket) sitting on the top shelf in the cupboards. The mouse somehow climbed up into the cupboards and broke into the bucket and ate half the powder.


So now I have Mighty Mouse on steroids walking through my apartment, harrassing the neighborhood cats, bench pressing my furniture, bitching that my movie selection sucks, drinking my beer, kicking my ass in NCAA 07 for Xbox.

I understand it though, it's the Roid Rage. He doesn't really mean it. Deep down I know that he really loves me.

The Major League Baseball Players Association has sent a memo to all of its members about drug testing during the 2003 season. And by "memo," we mean "suicide note." The players are expected to read the note very carefully, as soon as they're done taking more steroids.

Former American Gladiators star Nitro has admitted to using steroids while he was on the show in the early 90's. In related news, scientists have discovered that water is wet and chocolate is delicious.