Study Jokes / Recent Jokes
Artery - Study of paintings
Bacteria - Back door of cafeteria
Barium - What doctors do when treatment fails
Bowel - Letter like A.E.I.O.U
Caesarean section - District in Rome
Cat scan - Searching for kitty
Cauterize - Made eye contact with her
Colic - Sheep dog
Coma - A punctuation mark
Congenital - Friendly
D&C - Where Washington is
Diarrhea - Journal of daily events
Dilate - To live long
Enema - Not a friend
Fester - Quicker
Fibula - A small lie
G.I. Series - Soldiers' ball game
Grippe - Suitcase
Hangnail - Coathook
Impotent - Distinguished, well known
Intense pain - Torture in a teepee
Labor pain - Got hurt at work
Medical staff - Doctor's cane
Morbid - Higher offer
Nitrate - Cheaper than day rate
Node - Was aware of
Outpatient - Person who had fainted
Pelvis - Cousin of Elvis
Post operative - Letter carrier
Protein - Favoring young people
Rectum - It almost more...
Little is known of the fact that a Sardarji once applied to Med
School. Listed below are the results of the entrance test dug up from some
ancient archives. Needless to say he didn't make it...
ANTIBODY: against everybody
ARTERY: the study of paintings
BACTERIA: back door to a cafeteria
BENIGN: what you be after you be eight
BOWEL: letters like A, E, I, O, or U
CAESAREAN SECTION: a district in Rome
CARDIOLOGY: advanced study of poker playing
CAT SCAN: searching for one's lost kitty
CAUTERIZE: made eye contact with her ("caughther eyes")
COMA: a punctuation mark
CONGENITAL: friendly
CORTIZONE: the local courthouse
D & C: where Washington is
DILATE: to live longer
ENEMA: not a friend
ER: the thing on your head you hear with
FIBRILLATE: to tell lies
GENES: blue denim slacks
HEMORRHOID: a male from outer space
IMPOTENT: distinguished, well known
LABOR PAIN: hurt at more...
HIS:
1. Pull up to ATM
2. Insert card
3. Enter PIN and account
4. Take cash, card and receipt
5. Drive away
HERS:
1. Pull up to ATM
2. Back up and pull forward to get closer
3. Shut off engine
4. Put keys in purse
5. Get out of car because you're too far from machine
6. Hunt for card in purse
7. Insert card
8. Hunt in purse for grocery receipt with PIN written on it.
9. Enter PIN
10. Study instructions.
11. Hit "cancel"
12. Re-enter correct PIN
13. Check balance
14. Look for envelope
15. Look in purse for pen
16. Make out deposit slip
17. Endorse checks
18. Make deposit
19. Study instructions
20. Make cash withdrawal
21. Get in car
22. Check makeup
23. Look for keys
24. Start car
25. Check makeup
26. Start pulling away
27. Stop
28. Back up to machine
29. Get out of car
30. Take card and more...
Hi, I've been studyinbg Engineering @ Coimbatore for a year now. This thesis is from my experiance.
These laws have been proven to be accurate during an experiment using 21 malayalee Engineering students of Tamil Nadu, India.
1) The amount of time taken to study for a paper is inversely proportional to the marks obtained in that paper.
2) The amount of notes distributed by a lecturer corresponds inversely to the actual knowledge of that person on the subject.
3) The lecturer is always wrong, the only exception being when the person is reading from a text.
4) At any point of time, the deadline to submit a paper always comes two days ahead of the required time.
5) No matter how long you stare at the monitor, the Mailbox will not load in your college lab system until your allocated time is over.
6) Your code will develop errors only when a faculty member is within 5 mts of your person.
7) The amount of internal marks granted to a student is more...
A young woman brings home her fiance to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells her father to find out about the young man. The father invites the fiancee to his study for a drink.
"So what are your plans?" the father asks the young man.
"I am a Torah scholar," he replies.
"A Torah scholar. Hmmm," the father says. "Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in, as she's accustomed to?"
"I will study," the young man replies, "and God will provide for us."
"And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring, such as she deserves?" asks the father.
"I will concentrate on my studies," the young man replies, "God will provide for us."
"And children?" asks the father. "How will you support children?"
"Don't worry, sir, God will provide," replies the fiance.
The conversation more...
A new study finds Massachusetts to be most competitive state.
That's MY state, bitches! We did it! We are the most! We are the most!
The same study finds Mississippi to be the least competitive state.
When reached for comment, state officials said, "Whatever."
FOOT-AND-MOUTH BELIEVED TO BE FIRST VIRUS UNABLE TO SPREAD THROUGH MICROSOFT OUTLOOK
Researchers Shocked to Finally Find Virus That Email App Doesn't Like
Atlanta, Ga. (SatireWire.com) - Scientists at the Centers for Disease Control and Symantec's AntiVirus Research Center today confirmed that foot-and-mouth disease cannot be spread by Microsoft's Outlook email application, believed to be the first time the program has ever failed to propagate a major virus.
''Frankly, we've never heard of a virus that couldn't spread through Microsoft Outlook, so our findings were, to say the least, unexpected,'' said Clive Sarnow, director of the CDC's infectious disease unit.
The study was immediately hailed by British officials, who said it will save millions of pounds and thousands of man hours. ''Up until now we have, quite naturally, assumed that both foot-and-mouth and mad cow were spread by Microsoft Outlook,'' said Nick Brown, Britain's Agriculture Minister.
''By more...