Tend Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q. Why do reindeer have red noses?
A. They are not equipped with ABS and thus tend to bump into
things on slippery surfaces. This is why Santa is often seen
with a red nose (the sleigh doesn't have an airbag, either).
Q. Why does Santa use Elves?
A. There is no trade union for Elves. They're easy to exploit.
Q. Is there really a Mrs. Claus?
A. Highly unlikely. Since Santa is surrounded by male figures
(Elves, reindeer named Rudolph, Donner, Blitzen etc.) his sexual
preference seems to tend towards homosexuality. He is said to
have some problems finding a gerontophile/zoophile Elf for a
threesome with a reindeer, though.
Q. Does Santa really live on the North Pole?
A. Uncertain. However, rumor has it that the story of Santa and
the North Pole has nothing to do with the Arctic, but that
Santa is known to frequently ask the Elves and reindeer if he
can shove his pole up north. Obviously, this is related more...

Men are just like a Dog... here's proof!


1. Both take up too much space on the bed.
2. Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning.
3. Both are threatened by their own kind.
4. Both like to chew wood.
5. Both mark their territory.
6. Both are bad at asking you questions.
7. Neither tells you what's bothering them.
8. Both tend to smell riper with age.
9. The smaller ones tend to be more nervous.
10. Neither does any dishes.
11. Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut.
12. Both like dominance games.
13. Both are suspicious of the postman.
14. Neither knows how to talk on the telephone.
15. Neither understands what you see in cats.

xWhat does your profession say about you?
1. MARKETING - You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Least compatible with Sales.
2. SALES - Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing without a degree." You are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their money, you like to avoid contact with customers so you can "concentrate on the big picture." You seek admiration for your golf game throughout your life.
3. TECHNOLOGY - Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are instead content to completely control everything that happens at your workplace. Often even YOU don`t understand what you are saying but who the hell can tell. It is written that Geeks shall inherit the Earth.
4. ENGINEERING - One of only two signs that more...

Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

Issac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest, chickens in motion tend to cross roads.

Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends on your frame of reference.

Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.

Wolfgang Pauli: There already was a chicken on this side of the road.

Instead of Astrological Signs, how about these. . What’s Your Business Sign? 1) MARKETING You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Least compatible with Sales. 2) SALES Laziest of all signs, often referred to as “marketing without a degree. ” You are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their money, you like to avoid contact with customers so you can “concentrate on the big picture. ” You seek admiration for your golf game throughout your life. 3) TECHNOLOGY Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are instead content to completely control everything that happens at your workplace. Often even YOU don’t understand what you are saying but who the hell can tell. It is written that Geeks shall inherit the Earth. 4) ENGINEERING One of only two signs that more...

Instead of Astrological Signs, how about these .. What's Your Business
Sign?
Marketing
You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid
having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and
socializing which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now.
Least compatible with Sales.
Sales
Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing without a
degree."
You are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and
begs you to take their money, you like to avoid contact with customers
so you can "concentrate on the big picture." You seek admiration for
your golf game throughout your life.
Technology
Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are instead
content to completely control everything that happens at your workplace.
Often even YOU don't understand what you are saying but who the hell can
tell. It is written that Geeks more...

Astrology tells us about you and your future simply by your birthday.
The Chinese Zodiac uses the year of your birth. Demographics tell us
what you like, dislike, whom you vote for, what you buy and what you
watch on television.
Well, the Corporate Zodiac goes a step further: simply by your job
title, people will have you all figured out...
MARKETING: You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree
to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking
and socializing - which is pretty much what your job responsibilities
are now. Least compatible with Sales.
SALES: Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing without a
degree", you are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls
you and begs you to take their money, you like to avoid contact with
"customers" so you can "concentrate on the big picture". You seek
admiration for your golf game more...