Tend Jokes / Recent Jokes
Astrology tells us about you and your future simply by your birthday. The Chinese Zodiac uses the year of your birth.
Demographics tell us what you like, dislike, whom you vote for, what you buy and what you watch on television. Well, the Corporate Dilbert Zodiac goes a step further: simply by your department or job title, people will have you all figured out...
MARKETING You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Least compatible with Sales.
SALES Laziest of all signs, often referred to as' Marketing without a degree' you are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their money, you like to avoid contact with customers so you can concentrate on
the big picture. You seek admiration for your golf game throughout your life.
TECHNOLOGY Unable to control more...
Men are just like a Dog... here's proof! 1. Both take up too much space on the bed. 2. Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning. 3. Both are threatened by their own kind. 4. Both like to chew wood. 5. Both mark their territory. 6. Both are bad at asking you questions. 7. Neither tells you what's bothering them. 8. Both tend to smell riper with age. 9. The smaller ones tend to be more nervous. 10. Neither does any dishes. 11. Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut. 12. Both like dominance games. 13. Both are suspicious of the postman. 14. Neither knows how to talk on the telephone. 15. Neither understands what you see in cats.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18) Star Wars Character: Darth Vader Vader can be cruel and torment people who disagree with him but deep down there is a peace-loving, friendly side to him. He has a knack for inflicting pain on people and he uses his intellect during battle.
PISCES (Feb. 19 - Mar. 20) Star Wars Character: Lando Lando is the typical character with his head in the clouds. He is self-sacrificing but may be too passive to stand up to Vader. He became fairly pessimistic when put under pressure. He also poses as a chameleon wanting to change his scenery on occasion.
ARIES (March 21 - April 19) Star Wars Character: The Emperor The Emperor has demonstrated his liking to inflict pain on people just as people born under the sign Aries often do. He feels he is at the center of the universe and he must be in control. He enjoys being a leader and his aggression and quick-tempered attitude also helps him with this.
TAURUS (April 20 - May 20) Star Wars Character: Chewbacca more...
The problem with physicists is that they tend to cheat in order to get results.
The problem with mathematicians is that they tend to work on toy problems in order to get results.
The problem with program verifiers is that they tend to cheat at toy problems in order to get results.
I have trouble writing jokes sometimes. For example, last night, I was writing, and I wrote, "My relationships are magic, because the women I date tend to disappear."
But then I realized how hacky and corny that joke is, right? So I thought, and I came up with a punchline that is far more accurate and, I believe, funnier. Here it is:
My relationships are magic, because the women I date tend to get sawed in half."
1) MARKETING
You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Least compatible with Sales.
2) SALES
Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing without a degree." You are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their money, you like to avoid contact with customers so you can "concentrate on the big picture." You seek admiration for your golf game throughout your life.
3) TECHNOLOGY
Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are instead content to completely control everything that happens at your workplace. Often even YOU don't understand what you are saying but who the hell can tell. It is written that Geeks shall inherit the Earth.
4) ENGINEERING
One of only two signs that actually studied in school. It is said that more...