"Star Wars Astrology Signs" joke

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18) Star Wars Character: Darth Vader Vader can be cruel and torment people who disagree with him but deep down there is a peace-loving, friendly side to him. He has a knack for inflicting pain on people and he uses his intellect during battle.
PISCES (Feb. 19 - Mar. 20) Star Wars Character: Lando Lando is the typical character with his head in the clouds. He is self-sacrificing but may be too passive to stand up to Vader. He became fairly pessimistic when put under pressure. He also poses as a chameleon wanting to change his scenery on occasion.
ARIES (March 21 - April 19) Star Wars Character: The Emperor The Emperor has demonstrated his liking to inflict pain on people just as people born under the sign Aries often do. He feels he is at the center of the universe and he must be in control. He enjoys being a leader and his aggression and quick-tempered attitude also helps him with this.
TAURUS (April 20 - May 20) Star Wars Character: Chewbacca Chewbacca is a dependable creature but he can tend to be stubborn. He likes material possessions and loves to win at games. He tends to hate being bossed around or losing and he may succumb to his physical strength when upset.
GEMINI (May 21 - June 20) Star Wars Character: Ewok Ewoks are playful little creatures as are Gemini's. They tend to be extremely curious, craving knowledge but sometimes having short attention spans. For the most part they are charming and lovable beings but they can seem scattered and high-strung at times.
CANCER (June 21 - July 22) Star Wars Character: Luke Skywalker Luke seemed to be somewhat whinny sometimes but he eventually developed the thick hard shell of a cancer. He is strong willed and persistent to get what he wants. He never shys away from a fight at the first sign of danger. Not to mention he began to master the element of mind manipulation.
LEO (July 23 - Aug. 22) Star Wars Character: Princess Leia Leia adds a whole new meaning to high self-assurance which is evident in Leos. She is a nurturing person with great physical strength. Like many Leos she will see that her mission for good is completed and she is very optimistic about the outcome.
VIRGO (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22) Star Wars Character: C3P0 C3P0 shows his efficiency when working for a good caused but he tends to be a little bit fussy when it comes to doing something out of the ordinary. Like many Virgos he wants to stay out of the spotlight and he does well at picking up minute details.
LIBRA (Sept. 23 - Oct. 22) Star Wars Character: "Obi Wan" Kenobie As always Obi Wan continues forward in his pursuit of justice and he is determined to succeed. He conveys his art of persuasion through the force. He displays his supreme intelligence and is very talented in obtaining balance between himself and his surroundings.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21) Star Wars Character: Han Solo Han is a powerful character. He also tends to be possessive and lusty which would explain Han's greedy nature. He feels threatened by Leia's attempt to order him around which displays the disliking scorpios have for people who try to control them. He is often prone to suspicion and jealousy as seen in the Empire Strikes Back. However, his resilience and passion lead him to get what he wants..
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21) Star Wars Character: Yoda Yoda is superbly wise and he has been known to spread this wisdom widely. He seems to be impatient and pushy when people take his teachings too lightly. As always his philosophical side always peeks through.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19) Star Wars Character: R2D2 R2's ambition and inexhaustible desire to reach their goals/destination. He is a very loyal, sometimes going to great lengths to help someone out. He is a very social unit winning the hearts of many with his cute personality.