The View Jokes / Recent Jokes

Dear Star Jones,

Ijust heard that you and Al Reynolds have finalized your divorce. Iunderstand your wish for privacy, since the media has been all overyour marriage, especially after Al's announcement that he used to begay. I'd like to offer some advice, but I need to know one thing: Haveyou both started seeing other men?

The Star Savior

There hasn't been this many bitches crammed into a tiny space since last week when the cast of The View got trapped in an elevator.

...new studies show that a mother's diet can help determine the sex of a child...women who have a hearty breakfast laced with sugar were more inclined to have a son...women who consume a low energy diet that skimps on calories & nutrients are more likely to have a girl...and women who consumed both are likely to give birth to rosie o'donnell...

In the wake of the recent uproar over the racy Vanity Fair photos of Miley Cyrus, Rosie O'Donnell defended Miley's pictures on her blog.

"My closest friends and I looked at the pictures for hours," the prominent lesbian continued, "we're inviting Miley to join us on our Caribbean cruises."

Discussing her new memoir, "Audition," on The Oprah Winfrey Show, Barbara Walters admitted to sometimes feeling embarrassed by her mentally retarded sister, saying: "She stuttered tewwibly."

"Star Jones has finally become the skinny bitch we always talked about!" Joy Behar commented on yesterdays episode of The View as a picture of the newly svelte Jones loomed in the background. "It's wierd, it's just friggin wierd" yelled Rosie O' Donnell, who was feeling refreshed and vigorous after hanging upside down for an hour in the greenroom to "help with depression" and "to swell up my tongue so that it feels like a shlong when I give my lady-friend cunnilingous through a Dunkin' Doughnut hole".

Just be glad is wasn't Rosie Odonnell being ticketed for wearing a string bikini.