Tick Jokes / Recent Jokes

A red-faced judge convened court after a long lunch. The first case involved a man charged with drunk driving who claimed it simply wasn't true. "I'm as sober as you are, your honor," the man claimed.
The judge replied, "Clerk, please enter a guilty plea. The defendant is sentenced to 30 days."
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a poisonous snake?
A: You can make a pet out of the snake.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a tick?
A: A tick drops off you when you die.
Q: What do lawyers and bullfrogs have in common?
A: Both have a big head that consists mostly of mouth.
The judicial process is like a cow. The public is impaled on its horns, the government has it by the tail, and all the while the lawyers are milking it.
Q: What's the difference between a porcupine and a Porsche with two lawyers riding in it?
A: A porcupine has pricks on the outside.
The reason law schools have been described as "a more...

A red-faced judge convened court after a long lunch. The first case involved a man charged with drunk driving who claimed it simply wasn't true. "I'm as sober as you are, your honor," the man claimed.The judge replied, "Clerk, please enter a guilty plea. The defendant is sentenced to 30 days."Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a poisonous snake? A: You can make a pet out of the snake.Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a tick? A: A tick drops off you when you die.Q: What do lawyers and bullfrogs have in common? A: Both have a big head that consists mostly of mouth.The judicial process is like a cow. The public is impaled on its horns, the government has it by the tail, and all the while the lawyers are milking it.Q: What's the difference between a porcupine and a Porsche with two lawyers riding in it? A: A porcupine has pricks on the outside.The reason law schools have been described as "a place for the accumulation of learning" is more...

The text of the poem is as below:
^"`$$ -
! *=@$ _
%*< ~#4
&((../
|{}, , SYSTEM HALTED
The poem can only be appreciated by reading it aloud, to wit:
Waka waka bang splat tick tick hash,
Caret quote back-tick dollar dollar dash,
Bang splat equal at dollar under-score,
Percent splat waka waka tilde number four,
Ampersand bracket bracket dot dot slash,
Vertical-bar curly-bracket comma comma CRASH.