Troubled Jokes / Recent Jokes

There was an annoying clerk who worked in a downtown office. In particular, he had two habits which drove his co-workers batty. First of all, there was the squeaky wheel on his chair. All day long, his every movement was announced through the building. Worse yet though, was his habit of telling bad puns. You would have thought the office was an infirmary from the sound of the groans. One day, after opening his lunch box and stating that the wurst was yet to come, things finally came to a head. It seemed that violence would shortly ensue if nothing was done.

It was at this point when the office's good Samaritan stepped in. He sat the clerk down and talked over the problems with him. He got the clerk's promise to stop with the puns and to fix the wheels on his chair. Just a short while later, all were overjoyed to see him on his knees with an oilcan by his chair. The good Samaritan came walking up, and with a broad smile stated how happy he was to see him "casting oil on more...

what if u upgraded Girlfriend 5. 0 to Wife 1. 0: )

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Dear Tech Support Team:


Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5. 0 to Wife 1. 0.


I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child-processes that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.
In addition, Wife 1. 0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities.


Applications such as BachelorNights 10. 3, Cricket 5. 0, BeerWithBuddies 7. 5, and Outings 3. 6 no longer runs, crashing the system whenever selected. I can`t seem to keep Wife 1. 0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications.


I`m thinking about going back to Girlfriend 5. 0, but the `uninstall` doesn`t work on Wife 1. 0.


Please help!


Thanks,
"A Troubled User"

A small village was troubled by a man-eating lion. So its leaders sent a message to the great hunter, Jonesie, to come and kill the beast. For several nights the hunter lay in wait for the lion, but it never appeared. Finally, he told the village chief to kill a cow and give him its hide. Draping the skin over his shoulders, he went to the pasture to wait for the lion. In the middle of the night, the villagers woke to the sound of blood- curdling shrieks coming from the pasture. As they carefully approached, they saw the hunter on the ground, groaning in pain. There was no sign of the lion. "What happened, Jonesie? Where is the lion?" asked the chief. "Forget the damn lion!" he howled. "Which one of you idiots let the bull loose?"

[Royters: Dateline Washington]
Joe Motzeratz Reporting
Justice Department Siege Section's Helicopters & Tanks Rolling Towards Redmond
With the clock ticking ever closer to the deadline imposed by the Justice Department and the leaders of the Redmond WA based cult promising a fight to the end, Attorney General Janet Reno has informed the Justice Department's Siege Section to start the helicopters and tanks rolling towards Microsoft's campus in Redmond Washington; as well as cutting off the avenues of escape for Cult Leader Gates to his fortified redoubt on the lake, known as "C:/"..
Attorney General Reno stated that with such a formidable foe as Microsoft, and their response to her edict, that it would have to be a Take No Prisoners operation as the threat to the community at large is even more egregious than the mentally troubled widow in Illinois, and a much greater threat than the situation that first propelled her to prominence.
Apparently, more...