Tunnel Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two Polish guys were taking their first train trip to Warsaw on the train. A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas which they’d never seen before. Each bought one.
The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel. When the train emerged from the tunnel, he looked across to his friend and said, “I wouldn’t eat that if I were you. ”
“Why not? ”
“I took one bite and went blind for half a minute. ”

there were 3 girls. they each went to a boys house for a night. the next day they met thier dad who had b een outside the houses spying. he had heard crying, laughing and nothing. he asked why he heard crying and had the reply "when a big train goes in a small tunnel it hurts." then he asked why he heard laughing and had the reply "when a small train goes in a big tunnel it tickles." then he asked why he heard nothing and the girl replied "you always tell me never to with my mouth full."

Editor's Note: It's dry parody. You gotta really like sci-fi to enjoy this one...

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Experiment 8 Postflight Summary
NASA publication 14-307-1792
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ABSTRACT

The purpose of this experiment was to prepare for the expected participation in long-term space based research by husband-wife teams once the US space station is in place. To this end, the investigators explored a number of possible approaches to continued marital relations in the zero-G orbital environment provided by the XXXXXX shuttle mission.

Our primary conclusion is that satisfactory marital relations are within the realm of possibility in zero-G, but that many couples would have difficulty getting used to the approaches we found to be most satisfactory.

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INTRODUCTION

The more...

There was an Irishman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Tasmania. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark.

Then there was this kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Irishman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Englishman had his hand against his face as he had been slapped there.

The Englishman was thinking: "The Irish fella must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead."

Claudia Schiffer was thinking: "The English fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Irishman and got slapped for it."

The Irishman was thinking: "This is great! The next time the train goes through a tunnel I'll make another kissing noise and slap that English more...

One day, an Asian man, an American man, and Sung Hi Lee were on a train. Along the ride, there was a short but dark tunnel. When they entered the tunnel, a kissing sound, then a slapping sound was heard. Once outside, everyone could see a large red mark on the American's face. Sung Hi Lee thought, "That American probably tried to kiss me, but accidentally kissed the Asian, and he slapped him." The American thought, "The Asian tried to kiss Sung Hi Lee, and she tried to slap him, but accidentally slapped me." Now, the Asian thought, "That was great! Next ride, I'll kiss Sung Hi Lee
again, and slap the American!"

If there is light at the end of the tunnel...order more tunnel.

Everybody knows the famous under creek/sea tunnel joining England and France. Before it's construction, the tenders were invited from various construction companies by giving newspaper ads throughout the world. Banta Singh came across one such ad and he decided to fill the tender. On the day of opening the tenders everybody was surprised to find Banta Singh's tender at it's very lowest. Ohere tenders were quoting billions of pounds, Banta Sing had offered to do the job for just 10000 pounds. Now, as per the rule Banta was to get the contract. Before giving works order to Banta Singh, the officer asked BantaSingh as to how he could afford to work at such a low budget. Banta Singh said,"look, back home, there is my brother, Santa Singh.I will call him here. We will take two shovels. I will start diging from English bank and Santa Singh will start digging from French bank. The moment we meet, you get a tunnel." The dumbstruck officer asked with courage," and if you don't more...