Tunnel Jokes / Recent Jokes
Two dumb guys were taking their first train trip. A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas which they'd never seen before. Each bought one.
The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel. When the train emerged from the tunnel, he looked across to his friend and said,' I wouldn't eat that if I were you.'
'Why not?'
'I took one bite and went blind for half a minute.'
I heard this one from a dissident that our local Amnesty International
group got out:
Through the center of Czechoslovakia there a train speeding along. In one
compartment of the train there are four people. A beautiful vivacious young
woman, an old matronly woman, a Russian soldier, and a Czech dissident.
Suddenly the train goes through a tunnel.
It is completely dark.
Then is heard a loud kiss and an equally powerful slap.
When the train exits the tunnel, the Russian soldier is holding the side of his
face, and the Czech dissident is grinning his face off.
The old matronly woman thinks: "Now that's a fine young woman, the Russian
soldier tries to steal a kiss in the tunnel and the lady slaps him one!"
The young woman is thinking: "Now that's a strange Russian soldier, he'd
rather kiss that old hag than me."
The Russian soldier is thinking: "Now that's a smart Czech, he steals the kiss
and I get more...
A pakistani, a lady and a sardarji were travelling in a train one time. The train was going through a long tunnel and while in the dark suddenly there is a sound of a big kiss, which is followed by the sound of a slap.
When the train comes out of the tunnel, everyone sees that the pakistani guy's cheek is swollen red.
Now, the pakistani looks around confused and thinks,'that sardarji must have tried to kiss the lady and she slapped me instead of him.'
The lady wonders,' that pakistani guy must have been trying to kiss me and must have kissed the sardarji by mistake!'
And our dear old sardarji is thinks,' i hope we run into another tunnel so i can make another kissing sound and slap the damn pakistani!'
The newly born sperm was receiving instructions in conception from the instructor:
"As soon as you hear the siren, run for the tunnel and swim in a straight line until you get to the entrance of a damp cavern. At the end of the cavern you will find a red, sticky ball which is the egg. Address it and say, "I'm a Sperm." She will answer, "I'm the Egg." From that moment on you will work together to create the embryo. Do you understand?"
The sperm nodded affirmatively and the instructor said, "Then, good luck!"
Two days later, the sperm is taking a nap when he hears the siren. He wakes up immediately and runs to the tunnel. A multitude of sperm swim behind him. He knows he has to arrive first. When he nears the entrance to the cavern, he looks back and sees that he is far ahead of the other sperm. He is able to swim at a slower pace but does approach the red, sticky ball.
When, at last, he reaches the red, more...
Two Polish guys were taking their first train trip to Warsaw on the train. A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas which they'd never seen before. Each bought one.
The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel. When the train emerged from the tunnel, he looked across to his friend and said, "I wouldn't eat that if I were you."
"Why not?"
"I took one bite and went blind for half a minute."
Bill Clinton, George Bush, a spectacular looking blonde woman and an enormously large woman with an unfriendly scowl are in a train car. The train passes through a tunnel, and in the darkness the unmistakable sound of a slap is heard. As the train pulls out of the tunnel, the daylight reveals a big red slap mark on Clinton's cheek.
The blond thinks: "That rascal Clinton wanted to touch me and by mistake, he must have put his hand on the fat lady, who must have slapped his face"
The fat lady thinks: "That dirty old Bill Clinton touched the blonde and she smacked him."
Bill Clinton thinks: "George put his hand on that blonde and by mistake she slapped me."
George Bush thinks: "I hope there's another tunnel soon so I can smack Clinton again."