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Astrology tells us about you and your future simply by your birthday. The Chinese Zodiac uses the year of your birth.

Demographics tell us what you like, dislike, whom you vote for, what you buy and what you watch on television. Well, the Corporate Dilbert Zodiac goes a step further: simply by your department or job title, people will have you all figured out...
MARKETING You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Least compatible with Sales.
SALES Laziest of all signs, often referred to as' Marketing without a degree' you are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their money, you like to avoid contact with customers so you can concentrate on
the big picture. You seek admiration for your golf game throughout your life.
TECHNOLOGY Unable to control more...

Blond's Letter to Bill Gates
Dear Mr. Bill Gates,
This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a computer for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your notice.
1. After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only *** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but we face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard. Because of this we open the e-mail account with password ****. I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is.
2. We are unable to enter anything after we click the 'shut down' button.
3. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request you to check this.
4. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friends clicked 'run' has ran upto Amritsar! So, we request you to change more...

1) Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.
2) The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.
3) I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my hand through it.
4) I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
5) A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.
6) A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
7) I had been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going the other way.
8) I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.
9) In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
10) I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision.
11) I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and more...

1) Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.2) The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.3) I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my hand through it.4) I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.5) A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.6) A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.7) I had been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going the other way.8) I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.9) In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.10) I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision.11) I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.12) I was on my way to the doctors more...

The following extracts are perfectly genuine - taken from actual letters sent to the DHSS (Social Security & HUD). Although rather crude they are written in good faith by the senders....



Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.

Can you please tell me when our repairs are going to be done as my wife is about to become an expectant mother.

I want some repairs doing to my cooker as it backfired and burnt my knob off.

The toilet is blocked and we can't bath the children until it is cleared.

The man next door has a large erection in his back garden which is unsightly and dangerous.

Will you please send someone to mend our broken path as my wife tripped and fell on it and she is now pregnant.

Our kitchen floor is very damp and we have two children and we would like a third so will you please send somebody round to do something about it.

Would you please repair our more...

1) MARKETING
You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Least compatible with Sales.
2) SALES
Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing without a degree." You are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their money, you like to avoid contact with customers so you can "concentrate on the big picture." You seek admiration for your golf game throughout your life.
3) TECHNOLOGY
Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are instead content to completely control everything that happens at your workplace. Often even YOU don't understand what you are saying but who the hell can tell. It is written that Geeks shall inherit the Earth.
4) ENGINEERING
One of only two signs that actually studied in school. It is said that more...

Rather than Astrological Signs, how about... What's Your Professional Sign?
MARKETING: You are ambitious, yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college; concentrating instead on drinking and socializing, which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Least compatible with Sales.
SALES: Laziest of all signs, often referred to as 'marketing without a degree'. You are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you begging that you take their money, you prefer to avoid contact with customers so you can 'concentrate on the big picture'. You seek admiration for your golf game throughout your life.
TECHNOLOGY: Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are, instead, content to completely control everything that happens at your workplace. Often, even YOU do not understand what you are saying but who the hell can tell. It is written that Geeks shall inherit the Earth.
ENGINEERING: One of only two signs that more...