Vendor Jokes / Recent Jokes

Banta came to Madras and wanted to do
shopping in Burma bazaar. His Tamilian friend told him that
the prices will be costly and hence asked him to bargain for
half the price.
Banta went and asked the price of stereo for which the vendor
told 2000 Rs. Sardar asked for Rs. 1000. vendor told he can
give for Rs. 1800 for which Sardar told no, no only Rs. 900.
Vendor told ok, I will give it for 1500 Rs. for which Sardar
bargained for Rs. 750. It was going on like this when finally
vendor out of irritation said he will give the Sardar the stereo
free of cost."Our Sardar asked whether he will give two."

Mrs. Goldberg was shopping at a produce stand in her neighborhood. She approached the vendor and asked, "How much are these oranges?"
"Two for a quarter," answered the vendor.
"How much is just one?" she asked.
"Fifteen cents," answered the vendor.
"Then I'll take the other one," said Mrs. Goldberg.

A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a special rooster - one that would service all of his many hens.When he told this to the market vendor, the vendor replied, "I have just the rooster for you. Henry here is the horniest rooster you will ever see!"So the farmer took Henry back to the farm. Before setting him loose in the hen house though, he gave Henry a little pep talk. "Henry", he said, "I'm counting on you to do your stuff." And without a word, Henry then strutted into the hen house.Henry was as fast as he was furious, mounting each hen like a thunderbolt. There was much squawking and many feathers flying, till Henry had finished having his way with each hen. But Henry didn't stop there, he went in to the barn and mounted all the horses, one by one and still at the same frantic pace. Then he went to the pig house where he did the same. The farmer, watching all of this more...

Two Scottish nuns had just arrived to the US by boat when one said to the other, "I heard that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs."
"Odd," her companion replied, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do."
Nodding emphatically, the mother superior pointed to a hot dog vendor and they both walked towards it.
"Two dogs, please," said one.
The vendor was only too pleased to oblige and he wrapped both hot dogs in foil. Excited, the nuns hurried over to a bench and began to unwrap their' dogs.'
The mother superior was first to open hers, then, stared at it for a moment, leaned over to the other nun and whispered cautiously, "What part did you get?"

Nuns First Hot Dog Two Scottish nuns have just arrived in the USA by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do." Nodding emphatically, the mother superior points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward him. "Two dogs, please," says one. The vendor is only too pleased to oblige and he wraps both hot dogs in foil. Excited, the nuns hurry over to a bench and begin to unwrap their' dogs.' The mother superior is first to open hers. Staring at it for a moment, she leans over to the other nun and whispers cautiously, "What part did you get?"

Ranil goes to the newspaper vendor every morning, reads the front page headline and returns the paper. When this continued for several days the vendor asked Ranil, "Sir, everyday you read only the headline and return the paper. Are you looking for some special news?"
"Yes, I'm looking for an obituary notice"
"But Sir, obituary notices are on page 11"
No, this fellow whom I want dead will make the headlines if he dies"

A flower vendor was normally quite successful at unloading his last few bunches of flowers.
Appealing to a businessman who was walking by on his way home, the vendor said, "How about a nice bunch of roses to surprise your wife?"
"I don't have a wife," the businessman replied gruffly.
"Well then, how about some beautiful carnations for your girlfriend?" suggested the vendor, without missing a beat.
"I don't have a girlfriend," snapped the businessman.
"You lucky fellow!" the vendor said, as he broke into a big smile. "Buy both bunches to celebrate!"