Venus Jokes / Recent Jokes

I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men & women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Mars & Venus thing. And, I never have figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. And, I never yet have figured out how the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do".

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??" So she says the words that I and every husband on the planet dreads. She explains that I must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman. I'm thinking, "What was her first clue?"

I finally realize that nothing is going to happen that night, so I went to bed. The very next day we went shopping at a big unnamed department store... I walked around while she tried on more...

there is a fly flying over a venus fly trap when tha venus fly trap thinks to itself if that fly drops 6in lower i can have the fly. then a bear comes along and says to himself if that fly drops 6in lower then the venus fly trap can have tha fly and i can get tha venus fly trap. then a hunter comes and says if that fly drops 6in lower then the venus fly trap can get tha fly the bear can get tha venus fly trap and i can shoot tha bear. then amouse comes and says if that fly drops 6in lower then tha venus flytrap can get tha fly the bear can get tha venus fly trap the hunter can shoot the bear and i can have the hunters sandwich. then a cat comes along and says if that fly drops 6in lower then the venus fly trap can get the fly the bear can have the venus fly trap the hunter can shoot the bear the mouse can get tha hunters sandwich and i can get tha mouse. then a dong comes along and says that if that fly drops 6in lower then the venus fly trap can get tha fly the bear can get the venus more...

The teacher, brought a Venus statue in class and asks: "What do you like best about it?" "The artwork," says Robert." Very good. And you, Peter?" "Tits!""Peter, get out! And you, Johnny?" "I'm leaving, teacher, I'm leaving."

I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of relationships differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Mars & Venus thing. And, I never have figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. And, I never yet have figured out how the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do".
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said, "WHAT??" So she says the words that I and every husband on the planet dreads. She explains that I must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman. I'm thinking, "What was her first clue?"
I finally realize that nothing is going to happen that night, so I went to bed. The very next day we went shopping at a big unnamed department store... I walked around while she tried on three very expensive more...

I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of relationships differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Mars & Venus thing. And, I never have figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. And, I never yet have figured out how the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do".One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."I said, "WHAT??" So she says the words that I and every husband on the planet dreads. She explains that I must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman. I'm thinking, "What was her first clue?"I finally realize that nothing is going to happen that night, so I went to bed. The very next day we went shopping at a big unnamed department store... I walked around while she tried on three very expensive outfits. She more...

Tennis superstar Venus Williams appeared on "Larry King Live" last night. With as many failed marriages under Larry's belt, it's about time he had a guest who also believes that "love" means nothing.

An art teacher brought a statue of Venus to class for the students to see. "What do you like best about it, class? Let's begin with you, Bobby," said the teacher.
"I like the artwork," Bobby said.
"Very good. And you Billy?" the teacher asked.
"I really like her tits!" Billy exclaimed.
"Get out, Billy! Go and stand in the hall!" instructed the disgusted teacher. "And you, Johnny?"
"I'm going, teacher, I'm going," Johnny replied.