Violation Jokes

All stations are to be on the lookout for the following
individual(s) that are WANTED by an agency(ies) within the United
States of America. The US State Department has expressed interest
in extraditing the following individual(s) from anywhere in the
world.

NAME
Kringle, Christopher Also Known As Santa, Jolly Old Man, Saint Nick

RACE
Unknown

HEIGHT
6' 0"

WEIGHT
320 lbs

SCARS/TATTOOS
Across both buttocks words Merry Christmas.

LAST SEEN WEARING
Red suit pants and Jacket with red thermal underwear. Red hat,
with white tassel.

KNOWN TO BE DRIVING
1964 red convertible, with a nine Reindeer powered engine. Vehicle
was displaying a red light on front, in violation of the State of
Alaska Vehicle and Traffic law.

WANTED FOR THE FOLLOWING CIMINAL VIOLATIONS
Being Jolly in a No Jolly zone,
Breaking and entering more...

When asked for her occupation, a woman charged with a traffic violation said she was a schoolteacher.
The judge rose from the bench. "Madam, I have waited years for a schoolteacher to appear before this court." He smiled. "Now, sit down at that table and write 500 times,' I will not pass through a red light."

Editor's Note: This is kind of long, and actually considering it's an awful lot like many conversations I've had, not as funny as it might be. But, heck, enjoy it anyhow...

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PeaceNik: Why did you say we are we invading Iraq?

WarMonger: We are invading Iraq because it is in violation of security council resolution 1441. A country cannot be allowed to violate security council resolutions.

PN: But I thought many of our allies, including Israel, were in violation of more security council resolutions than Iraq.

WM: It's not just about UN resolutions. The main point is that Iraq could have weapons of mass destruction, and the first sign of a smoking gun could well be a mushroom cloud over NY.

PN: Mushroom cloud? But I thought the weapons inspectors said Iraq had no nuclear weapons.

WM: Yes, but biological and chemical weapons are the issue.

PN: But I thought Iraq did not have any long more...

Well, my terminal's locked up, and I ain't got any Mail, And I can't recall the last time that my program didn't fail I've got stacks in my structs, I've got arrays in my queues, I've got the: Segmentation violation - Core dumped blues.
If you think that it's nice that you get what you C, Then go: illogical statement with your whole family. Because the Supreme Court ain't the only place with: Bus error views. I've got the: Segmentation violation - Core dumped blues.
On a PDP-11, life should be a breeze, But with VAXen in the house even magnetic tapes would freeze. Now you might think that unlike VAXen I'd know who I abuse, I've got the: Segmentation violation - Core dumped blues!

Thistles may not grow in one's yard. A woman may not go through her husband's pockets while he is sleeping.Annapolis: It's illegal to throw bales of hay from a second-story window within the city limits. Baltimore: You cannot swear while inside the city limits. Baltimore: It is illegal to mistreat oysters. Baltimore: It is illegal to wash or scrub sinks no matter how dirty they get.Baltimore: It's illegal to throw bales of hay from a second-story window within the city limits. Baltimore: It's illegal to take a lion to the movies. Baltimore: It is a park rule violation to be in a public park with a sleeveless shirt. $10 fine. This would include joggers that go shirtless. (1898) -Park Rule 6 Baltimore: It is a violation of city code to sell chicks or ducklings to a minor within 1 week of the Easter holiday. Baltimore City: Though you may spit on a city roadway, spitting on city sidewalks is prohibited. Baltimore City: You may not curse inside the city limits. Columbia: You can not have more...