Western Jokes / Recent Jokes
How many country & western singers does it take to change a light bulb?
Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love she is with the new one, and one to go "Yeeeee-Hah! " and throw his hat in the air.
Which rabbit was in Western movies? Hopalong Cassidy.
A German shepherd went to a Western Union office, took out ablank form and wrote, "Woof..woof..woof..woof..woof..woof..woof..woof...woof."The clerk examined the paper and told the dog, "There areonly nine words here. You could send another 'woof' for thesame price."The dog replied "What, and ruin the punchline?!"
The Japanese people are said to have a great interest in Western things, especially those from the United States. This can be used to our strategic advantage to help solve our trade deficit with Japan.
We need to export TV shows like ``Perry Mason'' and ``LA Law'' and ensure that they are widely broadcasted. Once their children grow up wanting to become lawyers they are finished!
How many country and western singers does it take to change a light bulb?
Four: one to change it; one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one; one to sing about how madly in love she is with the new one; and one to go "Yeeeee-Haw!" and throw his hat in the air.
How many armies does it take to change a light bulb?
At least six: the Germans to start it; the French to give up really easily after only trying for a little while; the Italians to make a start, get nowhere, and then run away;: the English to stand firm back home but not get anywhere near the bulb; the Americans to turn up late, finish it off and take all the credit; and the Swiss to pretend nothing out of the ordinary is happening.
How many members of parliament does it take to change a light bulb?
Twenty-one: one to change it and twenty to take a six-week fact finding trip to the Bahamas to learn more about how it`s done.
How many lawyers does it take to change a more...
A western businessman was conducting his Japanese guest around the busy city. Because of traffic congestion they used bus and underground railway. The businessman was proud of his local knowledge of the system, and by clever use of the map and timetable, he got them to their various destinations much quicker than the average tourist could have done. He was particularly proud of one trick: "There, we saved twenty minutes by changing trains and taking the other line". The Japanese smiled broadly. When they got to their station, the businessman hustled the other up the stairs, and out into the fresh air. Nearby was a secluded little grassy area with some seats. The Japanese sat down, and looked benevolently on the world passing by. "Hey, what are you doing just sitting there?" gasped the western businessman. "Oh, I'm just using up the 20 minutes we saved on the train".
South Korea is gearing up for the World Cup by giving its toilets an urgent makeover. Officials are thinking big about the smallest room, lavishing expensive decor on lavatories and designing' themed' toilets in a bid to win the title of "Finest Rest Room in Seoul". Korea's "outhouse experience" has long been panned by visiting Westerners.
But the country has now launched the Rest Room movement and is determined visitors will be bowled over by the standard of its lavatories during World Cup 2002. Art shows have even been thrown in lavs, and there is now a guided tour of the city's top 50 conveniences. One top toilet is said to have an "urbane image of high class", with dressing tables, aromatic toilet paper and hair dryers.
Another has an art show, while a government-run loo is designed with a medieval theme and a "castle motif". Plants, colored lighting, ultra-high ceilings, cigarette machines and heavy steel ashtrays are more...