Whirring Jokes

An elderly gentlemen had been living with his spinster daughter for some years. One day, upon returning home he heard an unusual whirring noise. Wandering around the first floor, he noticed that the noise seemed to be coming from somewhere upstairs.
He proceeded up the stairs to investigate. Walking around, he realized that the noise increased as he neared his daughters closed bedroom door. Whereupon he quickly open the door to make sure that everything was alright.
He was astonished by the sight of his daughter, stretched out naked on her bed with a vibrator violently shaking in her hand.
"Sylvie! What in tarnation is goin' on?" He shouted!
Sylvie, without hesitation replied: "Daddy, I have needs! Isn't it obvious? I know that I'm not going to find anybody to marry, so please leave me alone, and shut the door on your way out."
Somewhat chagrined, he retreated, and closed the door as he exited.
Not too many days later, his daughter returned more...

The Super Computer stood at the end of the Computer Company`s production line. At which point the guided tour eventually arrived. The salesman stepped forward to give his prepared demo. "This", he said, "is the Super Computer. It will give an intelligent answer to any question you may care to ask it". At which a Clever Guest stepped forward - there is always one - and spoke into the Computer`s microphone. "Where is my father?" he asked. There was a whirring of wheels and flashing of lights that the manufacturers always use to impress lay people, and then a little card popped out. On it were printed the words: Fishing off Goa. Clever Guest laughed. "Actually", he said, "My father is dead"! It had been a tricky question! The salesman, carefully chosen for his ability to think fast on his feet, immediately replied that he was sorry the answer was unsatisfactory, but as computers were precise, perhaps he might care to rephrase his question more...

SARDAR Banta Singh arrived at the Indira Gandhi International Airport with his wife and four children, and checked in to catch their flight to Abu Dhabi where he had been promised a good job. While waiting for the flight to be called, Banta Singh looked round the departure lounge and saw a machine full of coloured bulbs. On it flashed a panel stating: Insert 10-paise coin and learn the truth.
Banta inserted a 10-paise coin. The machine made a whirring sound and out came a ticket. It read: Your name is Sardar Banta Singh. You are waiting to catch a flight to Abu Dhabi.
Banta Singh was very excited and beckoned his family. Mrs Banta inserted a 10-paise coin. The machine again made a whirring noise and out came another ticket reading: Your name is Sardarni Banta Singh and you are waiting to catch your flight to Abu Dhabi.
In turn the children put in 10-paise coins and got the same answer. After they had finished, Banta Singh thought he would try the machine one last time. more...

The Ultimate Computer stood at the end of the Ultimate Computer Company's production line. At which point the guided tour eventually arrived. The salesman stepped forward to give his prepared demo.

"This", he said, "is the Ultimate Computer. It will give an intelligent answer to any question you may care to ask it".

At which a Clever Dick stepped forward - there is always one - and spoke into the Ultimate Computer's microphone. "Where is my father"? he asked.

There was a whirring of wheels and flashing of lights that the manufacturers always use to impress lay people, and then a little card popped out. On it were printed the words "Fishing off Florida".

Clever Dick laughed. "Actually", he said, "my father is dead"! It had been a trick question!!

The salesman, carefully chosen for his ability to think fast on his feet, immediately replied that he was sorry the answer was more...