"Nostalgic Scotsman" joke
Duncan, the Scottish shipping magnate had returned to his hometown of Glasgow with a client, and they were walking on the shore while the ship was being loaded. Duncan stopped on a hill in a field near the city, pointed to a tree at the base of the hill, said "It was under that tree that I lost my virginity to a wonderful girl."
The client was impressed, mentioned that it must have a very special place in his heart. Duncan nodded, then said, "It was right here on this hill that the girl's mother stood while I lost my virginity that night."
The client was unbelieving. He said, "You mean to tell me that this woman just stands here and watches you and her daughter going at it down there?"
Duncan nods. The client says, "Well, what'd she say?"
Duncan says, "Baaa."
A young woman goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red "H" on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it that he never more...
Two cats: Felix & Un-deux-trois, decided to have a race to see who could swim across the river first.Guess who won? Felix! Because Un-deux-trois cat sank.
(Un deux trois quatre cinq)
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Three ministers - a Presbyterian, a Methodist, and a Baptist - and their wives were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and before long, they were standing before St. Peter.
First came the Presbyterian and his wife. St. Peter more...
2 Scousers are riding along the M62 from Manchester to Liverpool on a motorbike. They break down and start hitching a lift. A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the scousers ask him for a lift.
He tells them he has no room in the wagon as he is carrying 20, more...