"Parenting" joke
Being a parent changes everything. But being a parent also changes with each baby. Here are some of the ways having a second and third child is different from having your first.Your Clothes1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible. 3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.---------------Preparing for the Birth1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.2nd baby: You don't bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.---------------The Layette1st baby: You pre-wash your newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?---------------Worries1st baby: At the first sign of distress - a whimper, a frown-you pick up the baby.2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.---------------Pacifier1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.---------------Diapering1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.2nd baby: You change their diaper every 2 to 3 hours, if needed.3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.---------------Activities1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, BabySwing, and Baby Story Hour.2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.---------------Going Out1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times.2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.---------------At Home1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.---------------Swallowing Coins1st child: when first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.2nd child: when 2nd child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for coin to pass.3rd child: when 3rd child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!!
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