"The Skunk" joke
A Polish guy, a German guy, and a Russian guy are all challenged by a skunk on who can withstand its smell the longest in an outhouse.
They decide the German guy goes first. So he goes in.
After about 5 minutes, he walks out saying, "Oh god, that smelled horrible! I can't take it anymore!"
Then the Polish guy goes in.
After about 6 minutes, he too walks out, saying, "Shit, that smells worse than anything!"
Then, the Russian guy goes in.
Time passed, and the other two waited, and waited.
After about an hour, the skunk runs out saying, "I can't fucking stand it anymore! He took his fucking shoes off!!"
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Three ministers - a Presbyterian, a Methodist, and a Baptist - and their wives were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and before long, they were standing before St. Peter.
First came the Presbyterian and his wife. St. Peter more...
2 Scousers are riding along the M62 from Manchester to Liverpool on a motorbike. They break down and start hitching a lift. A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the scousers ask him for a lift.
He tells them he has no room in the wagon as he is carrying 20, more...
Knock Knock
Who's there!
Duncan!
Duncan who?
Duncan make your garden grow better! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Duncan!
Duncan who?
Duncan disorderly again! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Duncan!
Duncan who?
Duncan buscuits in more...
Dear Mom and Dad,
Our scoutmaster told us all to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are OK. Only one of our tents and two of our sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily none us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for more...