1st Jokes / Recent Jokes
There's these four Irishmen in a bar, all drinking Guinness. One of them is looking rather puzzled, so another turns to him and asks him what's the matter. 1st Irishman: Well, I was just trying to remember what 2 plus 2 is. 2nd Irishman: Oh, that's easy, it's 147. 1st Irishman: No no no, that can't be right. How about you, Fergus, do you know what 2 plus 2 is? 3rd Irishman: Hmmm. .. could it be Wednesday, perhaps? 1st Irishman: No no no, that doesn't sound right either. How about you Pat, do you know? 4th Irishman: Simple, the answer is 4. 1st Irishman: Of course! How did you work it out?! 4th Irishman: Aha, that's where brains come in! I subtracted 147 from Wednesday!
One day 3 boys were fishing on the Rappahanock River and all of the sudden Bill and Hillary Clinton were on a raft and they tipped over and the boys saved them! ! then Bill said " You must be proud because you saved the President and the 1st lady and so I will give you 1 wish each."
The 1st boy said "I wanna fly on Air Force One " and the 2 nd boy said " I wanna sleep in The White House"
And the 3rd boy said "I wanna grave in the Arlington Cemetery"
Bill said why do you want that? and the boy said when I tell my dad who I saved he will kill me! !!!!!!
A blonde buys a plane ticket to Miami. (It's a coach Ticket). When she gets on the plane she sits in first class. The steward who checks tickets says, "I'm so sorry, this is a coach ticket and your sitting in 1st class." "I can do What-eva I want, I'm a blonde." Well I'll get the pilot. The pilot comes and whispers in the blondes ear and she leaves. The steward looks amazed and says," What did you say?" The pilot simply says," I told her 1st class wasn't going to Miami, just coach was!!!"
1st Monster: What is that son of yours doing these days? 2nd Monster: He's at medical school. 1st Monster: Oh, what's he studying? 2nd Monster: Nothing, they're studying him!
1st man: "My neighbors were screaming and yelling at three o'clock this morning!" 2nd man: "Did they wake you?" 1st man: "Nah....I was up playing my bagpipes."
On the 1st day of Christmas, my true love gave to me. . . Windows 95 for my PCOn the 2nd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me. . . 2 GPFsand Windows 95 for my PCOn the 3rd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me. . . 3 ports not responding2 GPFsand Windows 95 for my PCOn the 4th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me. . . 4 sectors bad3 ports not responding2 GPFsand Windows 95 for my PCOn the 5th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me. . . 5 eighty six4 sectors bad3 ports not responding2 GPFsand Windows 95 for my PCOn the 6th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me. . . 6 ints conflictin'5 eighty six4 sectors bad3 ports not responding2 GPFsand Windows 95 for my PCOn the 7th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me. . . 7 files missin'6 ints conflictin'5 eighty six4 sectors bad3 ports not responding2 GPFsand Windows 95 for my PCOn the 8th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me. . . 8 Megs overflowin'7 files missin'6 ints conflictin'5 eighty six4 sectors bad3 ports more...
There where two snakes talking. The 1st one said Sidney, are we the type of snakes who wrap ourselves around our prey and squeeze and crush until theyre dead? Or are we the type of snake who ambush our prey and bite them and they are poisioned?. Then the second Snake says "Why do you ask?" The 1st one replies: "I just bit my lip!"