Alien Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: How many alien life forms does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Yeah, wouldn't the guys at SETI like to know *that*!
Note: SETI = Search for Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence.
Q: How many alt.alien.visitors readers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One. (screw screw screw) Aargh! The light! I'm being abducted!
The Enterprise runs into a mysterious energy field of a type it has encountered several times before.
The Enterprise goes to visit a remote outpost of scientists, who are all perfectly alright.
Some of the crew visits the holodeck, and it works properly.
The crew of the Enterprise discovers a totally new life form, which later turns out to be a rather well-known old life form wearing a funny hat.
The crew of the Enterprise is struck by a mysterious plague, for which the only cure can be found in the well-stocked Enterprise sick-bay.
The Captain has to make a difficult decision about a less advanced people which is made a great deal easier by the Starfleet Prime Directive.
The Enterprise successfully ferries an alien VIP from one place to another without a serious incident.
An enigmatic being composed of pure energy attempts to interface with the Enterprise's computer, only to find out that it has forgotten to bring the right leads.
A power surge on the more...
Scientists Decode the First Message From an Alien Civilization:
Simply send 6 x 10 to the 50 atoms of Hydrogen to the Star System at the top of the list, cross off that star system, then put your Star System at the bottom of the list and send it to 100 other Star Systems. Within one-tenth of a Galactic Rotation you will receive enough hydrogen to power your civilization until entropy reaches its maximum! IT REALLY WORKS!
there was a boy he went to the shop and asked his mum for an action man his mum said "no you can have anything you want when you get home" so they went home the boy rushed upstairs to go the toilet his dad was in the bath he said to his dad "dad wats dat thing in the water" and his dad said thats my alien friend" so the boy said "can i play with him" the boys dad said "no" the boy said "mum said i can do anything i want so the boy got in the next day his dad woke up and said where am i wats happened?" the boy said "your alien friend spat at me so i bit his head off"
Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near an abandoned gas station.
They approached one of the gas pumps, and one of the aliens addressed it:' Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader.' The gas pump, of course, didn't respond. The alien repeated the greeting. There was no response. The alien, annoyed by what he perceived to be the gas pump's haughty attitude, drew his ray gun, and said impatiently:' Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. How dare you ignore us in this way! Take us to you leader, or I will fire!'
The other alien shouted to his comrade' No, you mustn't anger him!' but before he finished his warning, the first alien fired.
There was a huge explosion that blew both of them 200 meters into the desert, where they landed in a heap. When they finally regained consciousness, the one who fired turned to the other and said:' What a ferocious creature. It nearly killed us! But, how did you know it was so more...
I can't come to the phone now because alien beings are eating my brain. Leave a message anyway, and after the alien beings assume my shape, one of them will get back to you.