Alien Jokes / Recent Jokes
Two aliens land in Metro Detriot, and they happen to land next
to a gas station. So, the aliens waddle out of their ship and
look around. The first thing they see that resembles an
intelligent being is the gas pump. The two Aliens approach and
the first one says "Earthling, take me to your leader!"
Of course he gets no response.
The first Alien looks at his buddy then addresses the pump again.
"Earthling, I said TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER!" Of course, still no
response.... The first Alien then turns to the second and says
"If this Earthling doesn't show me some respect and at least
acknowledge me I'm going to blast him!" At that the second Alien
replies "O. K, I'm just going to stand down on the next block."
The first Alien looks a little puzzled, but waits for the other
to waddle to the next block. He then addresses the pump a third
time. "Earthling take me to your more...
What makes you think Marie Griffin is an alien?
She has three' i's.
Two aliens landed in the remote countryside and went walking from the flying saucer along a narrow lane. The first thing they saw was a red pillar box. `Take us to your leader, said the first alien.`Dont waste time talking to him. Cant you see hes only a child? said the second alien.
I used to be smug about the Y2K problem even though it was definitely a problem with 100% probability of occurrence. But then I got to thinking about chaos theory and what really causes big problems and disasters. It's the little unexpected things. For example, a barge strikes a bridge causing a train to fall into the water. Who would have predicted that?
So, here's what you really need to watch out for in 1999:
El Kabong. We all know about the problems caused by El Nino and La Nina. No one expects them both to occur simultaneously! They say it's impossible. Ergo, what do you suppose will happen? Both El Nino and La Nina at the same time. I call it El Kabong! It turns out to be the greatest natural disaster in modern time - but wait, there is finally some good news...
Due to the change to the Euro-dollar, a software glitch introduced by a Y2K date fix prevents a stock market meltdown. Investors would have been saved billions when what was just a 1-day panic was suddenly more...
an alien landed on earth and he learned 3 words one from an opera that was me me me.the second was fork and knife from a restaurant.the third was from a commercial from tv plug it plug it in.a cop seen the alien walking down the street and told the alien that there has been a murderer and if he knew who did it the alien replied me me me then the cop asks with what the alien replies fork and knife.the next day they sentenced the alien to the electric chair the exocutioner asked if he had any last words the alien replied plug it in plug it in.
An Alien walks into a bar, goes up to the bartender and pokes him in the shoulder, all the while making a noise like ''Meeeeeeep''. The bartender looks at him and is really weirded out.
He turns around and the alien pokes him in the shoulder again and says ''Meeeeeeep'' The bartender is really pissed now and says to the Alien, ''Dude, next time you do that, Im gonna take you outside and rip your dick off!''
The alien obiously doesn't understand and pokes the bartender again and says ''Meeeeeeeep''. The bartender is so pissed, that he picks him up by the collar of his space suit and draggs him outside to the empty lot and jerks down the Aliens pants.
But, the Alien doesn't have human anatomy and has nothing there to rip off. The bartender is so surprised that he asks, ''Well, if you don't have a dick, how do you have sex?'' The alien just looks at him, pokes him in the shoulder and says ''Meeeeeeep''
What do you call an alien starship that drips water? A crying saucer.