Alien Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q. What did the alien say to the garden? A. Take me to your weeder.
THE MARS TIMES
Interplanetary Edition - Number 34,918,495,932 – Published every day the sun shines
EARTH DROPS MORE SPACE JUNK ON MARS' DESERT
Second dose of space junk lands in as many weeks.
Greenie Scouts snapped this visual scan of the Earth debris near Grdrzzwils.
By Zmrwxysuvrityqwz
Special to The Mars Times
For the second time in as many weeks, residents of the Earth planet have dropped additional space junk on the Martian desert. Today's debris was first spotted by a Greenie Troop on a hike near Vlnuxptaqwzt crater in Grdrzzwils. The troop, led by Tzwrygmqwxl, quickly followed the Alien Space Contact Procedures (see below) and hid behind large rocks until the sun had gone down.
Sector command has since cordoned off the area near the crash site and is currently constructing false backdrops so if the debris proves to be operational, only barren desert scenes will be beamed back to the Earth planet. They believe that this debris contains a small more...
What did the alien say to the gas pump? Don't you know its rude to stick your finger in your ear when I'm talking to you!
Why did the alien phone home on his mobile? Because it was so ET!
Two aliens landed in the remote countryside and went walking from the flying saucer along a narrow lane. The first thing they saw was a red pillar box. `Take us to your leader,' said the first alien. `Don't waste time talking to him. Can't you see he's only a child?' said the second alien.
What did the alien say when his flying saucer landed in a stud farm? Take me to your breeder!
A guy in sitting in a bar hving a drink. All of a sudden an alien sits down next to him, licks its finger and sticks it in the guys ear. he's a little annoyed, but doesn't say anything.the next thing he knows, the alien does it again. this time the guy tells him to quit. five minutes later, it happens again. this time he yels at him to stop. ten minutes later, he finds a finger in his ear. finally, he jumps up and screams, " If you don't quit I'm gonna rip your balls off!". the alien thinks about it for a second, and does it again. the guy jumps up, pulls its pants down, but there was nothing there! in frustration he asks, "How do you screw?!!"
the alien smiles and sticks his finger in the guys ear.