Basketball Jokes / Recent Jokes

Melanie Griffith is taking heat for blowing smoke with her teenage offspring. Last week outside a Beverly Hills boutique, paparazzi snapped the actress, 48, cigarette dangling from her lips, lighting a nicotine stick for a young woman identified as her 16-year-old daughter, Dakota (dad is Don Johnson)........

I mean what is the big deal. Smoking cigarettes is cool, we all know that and this is just the beginning of her cool training. Her dad is Don Johnson for goodness sake. She has a lot of work to do, to live up to that amount of coolness. Next on the to-do list of cool.....rolling up your jacket sleeves to use a hand gun and singing duets with Barbra Streisand.....Get cracking Dakota!!

How many NCAA basketball players does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one - but he gets money, a car, and three credit hours for it.

Hanging in the hallway at the High School are the basketball team pictures from the past 40 years. A player in the center of the front row in each picture holds a basketball identifying the year - "62-63," "63-64," "64-65," etc.
One day I spotted a freshman looking curiously at the photos. Turning to me, he said, "Isn't it strange how the teams always lost by one point?"

Rick Pitino held a news conference today to clear up what he is calling a misunderstanding. Apparently the woman mistook Rick for a waiter and asked him if he could "toss her salad"

Yo Mama is like a basketball hoop, everybody gets a shot!

The NBA has fined Gilbert Arenas $25,000 for skipping a media session. Strange, since most people would pay him that much to shut up.

At a college with a shady reputation, the new dean responded to investigations into the basketball team by suspending any basketball player who wasn't maintaining a passing average. Furious, the coach came storming into the dean's office, followed by one of his star players." You can't keep him from playing!" the coach roared. "We won't win this weekend without him!""I don't care," the dean said. "Things have gotten out of hand at this college." "What do you mean, out of hand?" the coach demanded." I'll show you what I mean," the dean said. He turned to the basketball player and said, "Tell me, how much is six times seven?" The player thought for several seconds. Then he said, "Thirty- one?" The dean turned to the coach and said, "I rest my case." "Oh, come on now," the coach said. "Why are you making such a big deal of it? After all, he only missed it by one."