Batsman Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q. Who is the best Sri Lankan batsman on the current tour?
A. Muttiah Muralitharan
Q. What is the height of optimism?
A. A Sri Lankan batsman putting on sunscreen.
Q. What is the main function of the Sri Lankan coach?
A. To transport the team from the hotel to the ground.
Q. What's the Sri Lankan version of a hat-trick?
A. Three runs in three balls.
Q. Why don't Sri Lankan fielders need pre-tour travel injections?
A. Because they never catch anything.
Q. What's the Sri Lankan version of LBW?
A. Lost, Beaten, Walloped.
Q. What do you call an Sri Lankan with 100 runs against his name?
A. A bowler.
Q. What's the most proficient form of footwork displayed by Sri Lankan
batsmen?
A. The walk back to the pavilion.
Q. Who has the easiest job in the Sri Lankan touring party?
A. The guy who removes the ball marks from the bats.
Q. Why did Nawaz more...
The batsman had been out off the third ball and was back in the pavilion taking an early lunch of fish and chips.' I don't think much of this batter' he complained.' You should talk,' replied the waitress.
One of England's fastest bowlers was taking a quiet stroll in a little village when he came upon a game of cricket. This being in the age before TV, cricketers were not always recognised by face.
The visiting team was one player short and invited the great man not knowing who he was. The home team was batting first. Soon it became evident that the umpires were more than slightly in favour of the batsmen, when several appeals for catches behing the wicket and leg-before were turned down.
The visiting captain, in desperation, and having used all his bowlers turned to our friend. The Test cricketer, Harold Larwood, marked out a short run-up and came in and bowled his first delivery. The batsman was plumb in front and was about to move.
"Howzzaat!" cried the visitors. But the umpire just shook his head in denial.
Lol, a little miffed, came in again, and there was a loud noise to be heard as the batsman nicked to the keeper. But, once more...
In a local game. the visiting side had two fearsome fast bowlers. Everybody was terrified of them, none more so that the opening bat for the home team. He crept, shaking, to the crease and awaited the first ball. The bowler thundered up to the crease and hurled down a scorcher. The batsman waved his bat at it and it was fielded at mid-on. Immediately, he walked for the pavilion.
'Where are you going?' cried the bowler.' He caught it on first bounce.'
'Looked good enough to me' replied the retreating batsman.
Smith and Jones were the rival side's fast bowlers. Between them, they had just bowled out the home side for thirty.
After the game, a youngster asked a home batsman,' When do you find Smith and Jones least difficult to play?'
'When I'm in the pavilion,' sighed the batsman.
The batsman kept hitting the bowler to the square-leg boundary. The captain decided to take him off saying,
'This other bowler knows how to sort him out.'
The batsman duly knocked the ball for a six over the bowler's head.
'I see your idea,' called the first bowler.
'You made him change direction!'
After the test match, new rules need to be incorporated by ICC to give the other teams a perfect clarification
(1) Ricky Ponting – (THE TRULY GENUINE CRICKETER OF THE CRICKET ERA AND WHOSE INTEGRITY SHOULD NOT BE DOUBTED ) should be considered as the FOURTH UMPIRE. As per the new rules, FOURTH UMPIRE decision is final and will over ride any decisions taken by any other umpires. ON-FIELD umpires can seek the assistance of RICKY PONTING even if he is not on the field. This rule is to be made, so that every team should understand the importance of the FOURTH UMPIRE.
(2) While AUSTRALIAN TEAM is bowling, If the ball flies anywhere close to the AUSTRALIAN FIELDER(WITHIN 5 metre distance), the batsman is to be considered OUT irrelevant of whether the catch was taken cleanly or grassed. Any decision for further clarification should be seeked from the FOURTH UMPIRE. This is made to ensure that the cricket is played with SPORTIVE SPIRIT by all the teams.
(3) While BATTING, more...