Botanist Jokes / Recent Jokes

1. What do you call a plant that is vericose and eats insects?
A venous fly trap.
2. What type of drawings do botanists enter in?
Raffle-esias.
3. If Johnathan Swift was a botanist what would his smallest characters be?
The Lilly-putians.
4. What is a Sesame Street botany toy?
UTRICLE me Elmo.
5. How do florists stay dry in a rain storm?
With an Umbel-la.
6. What is a contagious desease common among agriculturists?
TUBERCLE-osis.
7. The tree got married. It wanted to show off its ring.
8. What does a botanist sleep on?
A monocot.
9. An arborist can count to Tree.
10. Who stole from the plant?
Robberulose Biphosphate.
11. What keeps a botanist going?
Tomentum.
12. What is an herbologists favorite soup?
Tomentum soup.
13. Why is the body of a plant so vulgar?
It is a thallic symbol.
14. Why was the botanist crying?
She had THYRSE in her eyes (what can I say it was more...

1. Why are mosses so grouchy when they all lie on the same plane?
I guess they just like to Complanate.
2. How do botanists send mail?
Through the compost office.
3. Why did the plant eat meat?
It was coniferous.
4. How do relatives of weasels pollinate a plant?
They make it Ferretile.
5. The botanist was eaten by a cul-lion.
6. What do botanists run up to get excercise?
Hilum.
7. Which botanist is a Senator?
Senator Hilum Clinton.
8. Is a botanist from down South a Hilum Billy??
9. What part of a flower is in a car?
A Calyx converter.
10. What does a botanist studying jagged margins shoot from her bow?
Erose.

1. What do you call the study of polyps?
Wart-iculture.
2. What did the tropical weather say when it made a mistake?
I am only Humid.
3. How does corn speak?
With a husky voice (and it is al ears)
4. What rank in the army is corn?
A Kernal.
5. Which yellow plant flew too close to the sun?
ICTERUS.
6. What do you call an undressed fruit?
INDEHISCENT
7. What do you call something done accidently by a rolled plant leaf?
Involutary.
8. Why is bach's concerto like a plant?
Both are organic.
9. What is the advice of tucan Sam to a botanist?
Follow your node.
10. What does a botanists do when he/she finds a new orchid?
Labellum.
11. What is a D&D villain oft encountered by a botanist?
An Orc-id.
12. The botanist was broke, so she took out a lawn, or was it a loam.
13. The corn followed you, you have been stalked.
14. What do you call it if you lick a more...

1. How does a botanist clean his/her self?
With a brush.
2. Why was the botanist so wise?
He was very sage.
3. Which police show do agriculturists watch?
CROPS.
4. Do Botanists support stem cell research??
5. Do botanists have all the anthers??
6. The plant had his car stolon.
7. What was the greenhorn botanist sent on?
A stipe hunt.
8. How was the botanist paid?
With a stipe-nd.
9. What does a botanist call beurocratic red tape?
STIPULE-ations.
10. Who is a plants favorite action movie star?
Silvester Stolon.

1. Who is the mother of the mother of a botanist?
A Granule.
2. What is the attitude of many botanists?
Haploid go luckoid.
3. Hastate makes wastate.
4. Why will shrubs rule the world?
They will have Hedge-mony.
5. What do you call a curly haired monoceous plant?
A perm-aphrodite.
6. What is a boring plant eater?
An Herbi-bore.
7. What do you call a plant eating pig?
An herbi-boar.
8. Why did the flower go to the salon?
To have his hair styled.
9. What do you say when a botanist sneezes?
HIRSUTE-ite.
10. How do horticulturists get across bodies of water?
With the help of a a Boat-anist.