Bothering Jokes

HER SIDE OF THE STORY:

He was in an odd mood when I got to the bar, I thought it might have been my fault because I was a bit late but he didn't say anything much about it. I don't remember doing anything to make him upset, but I could tell there was something wrong. The conversation was quite slow going so I thought we should go off somewhere more intimate so we could talk more privately. We went to this restaurant and he was STILL acting a bit funny. I was getting really worried, what did I do? What was bothering him? Was he mad at me? I tried to cheer him up, but started to wonder what was bothering him. Was it me or something else? I asked him if he was upset with me, and he said no. But I wasn't really sure. So anyway, in the cab on the way back to his house, I said that I love him, and he just put his arm around me! I didn't know what the hell that meant because, you know, he doesn't say it back or anything. We finally got back to his place and I was wondering if he more...

A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant. First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour. Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth and never once got angry. So finally, a second customer asked him why he didn't throw out the pest. "Oh, I really don't care or mind," said the waiter with a smile. "We don't even have an air conditioner."

One day, Pinnochio and his girlfriend were in bed doing what girls and wooden boys do. Later, as they were cuddling, Pinnochio could tell that something was bothering his girlfriend. So he asked her, What's the matter, baby?'

Pinnochio's girlfriend gave a big sigh and replied,' You're probably the best guy I've ever met -- but every time we make love, you give me splinters.'

This remark bothered Pinnochio a great deal, so the next day he went to seek some advice form his creator, Gepetto. When Pinnochio arrived, he could tell something was bothering Pinnochio, and asked him what was the matter. As Pinnochio revealed his dilemma, Gepetto searched up and down for a solution. Eventually, he suggested that sandpaper might be able to' smooth' out Pinnochio's relationship with his girlfriend. Pinnochio graciously thanked Gepetto and went on his way.

Gepetto had not heard from Pinnochio for a while and therefore assumed that the sandpaper had solved all of more...

Women are empathic, men are pathetic. We haven't got a clue as to empathizing with another human being.
Male bonding consists of hitting each other on the shoulder, swearing a lot, and talking about the latest football game (Go Bears!!!) while consuming huge amounts of beer.
Female bonding is another thing all together. It consists of expressing emotions from despair to bliss, talking of inner feelings and personal relationships, and, of course, how clueless we men are.
Example from my marriage: Shorty after our Honeymoon, my bride stepped between me and the television, and said "We have to talk." Being new to the married thing, and not knowing the ramifications of a "we have to talk" talk, I immediately turned the TV off (the Bears were winning big anyway, and I was out of beer), and said "Whatever is bothering you is bothering me. Tell me about it."
This was, I thought, just the kind of careing, loving statement a good husband should more...

HER SIDE OF THE STORY My husband was in an odd mood Saturday night. We planned to meet at a cafe for a drink. I spent the afternoon shopping with the girls and I thought it might have been my fault because I was a bit later than I promised but he didn't say anything about it. I don't remember doing anything to make him upset, but I could tell there was something wrong. The conversation was quite slow going so I thought we should go off to someplace intimate so we could talk more privately. We went to this restaurant and he was STILL acting a bit funny. I was getting really worried, what did I do? What was bothering him? Was he mad at me? I tried to cheer him up, but started to wonder what was bothering him. Was it me or something else? I asked him if he was upset with me, he said no. But I wasn't really sure. In the car on the way back home, I said that I loved him deeply and he just put his arm around me. I didn't know what the heck that meant because, you know, he didn't say it back more...