Carpenter Jokes / Recent Jokes

And God Created The WomanHe was so pleased with his creation that he calls in three of his top advisors: His chief Carpenter, His Chief Tailor, and His Chief Architect.He presents his creation to his Chiefs and asks them for suggestions and comments.The Carpenter says: "Too many forms, you need to straighten things out, flatten it out." God replies, "No I like it that way, but thanks"Then the Tailor says: "Too many strings (hair) sticking out, you need to trim them." God replies, "No I like it that way, but thanks"Then the Architect says: "Wonderful creation, absolutely superb, but next time, please do not place the toilets next to the reception room"

These three friends, a Dentist, a Carpenter, and an Electrician were sitting around trying to decide what prank to pull on a mutual friend. Their friend was getting married soon, and his good buddies just felt compelled to play some prank, as all good buddies would.
After sitting around brainstorming for a while, the Electrician had a thought, "I know! I know! I can wire the bed so that when our friend and his new bride sit on it and touch one another, they'll get a good shock."
The Carpenter perked up and added, "and I can rig the bed so that when they get shocked and jump apart, the bed will collapse."
The Dentist just sat in silence, because he couldn't think of a thing to do.
After the fortunate couple's wedding and honeymoon, the groom called his friends together for a chat. He said to them, "Well, when we sat on the bed and got a shock, it wasn't that bad. And then when we jumped apart and the bed fell in, we had a good laugh. But who's more...

Pinnochio had been getting complaints from his girlfriend. "Every time we make love," she said, "I get splinters." So Pinocchio went back to his maker, Gipetto the carpenter, for advice. "Sandpaper," said the carpenter. "That's what you need." So Pinocchio took some sheets of sandpaper and went home. A few weeks later the carpenter bumped into Pinocchio again. "How are you getting on with the girls now?" he asked. "Who needs girls?" said Pinocchio.

Pinnochio had been getting complaints from his girlfriend. "Every time we make love," she said, "I get splinters." So Pinocchio went back to his maker, Gipetto the carpenter, for advice. "Sandpaper," said the carpenter. "Thats what you need." So Pinocchio took some sheets of sandpaper and went home. A few weeks later the carpenter bumped into Pinocchio again. "How are you getting on with the girls now?" he asked. "Who needs girls?" said Pinocchio.

A Polak went to a carpenter and said, "Can you build me a box that
is two inches high, two inches wide, and fifty feet long?"
"Hmm..." mused the carpenter. "It could be done, I suppose, but what
would you want a box like that for?"
"Well, you see," said the Polak, "my neighbor moved away and forgot
some things, so he asked me to send him his garden hose."