Chop Jokes / Recent Jokes

There was this little guy sitting in a bar, drinking, minding his own business when all of a sudden this great big guy comes in and –WHACK!! - knocks him clean off the bar stool and onto the floor. The big guy says, “That was a karate chop from Korea. ”
The little guy thinks “GEEZ, ” but he gets back up on the stool and starts drinking again when all of a sudden –WHACK– the big guy knocks him down AGAIN and says, “That was a judo chop from Japan. ”
So the little guy has had enough of this… He gets up, brushes himself off and quietly leaves. The little guy is gone for an hour or so when he returned. Without saying a word, he walks up behind the big idiot and –Bong!!! – bangs the big guy off his stool, knocking him out cold!!!
The little guy looks at the bartender and says, “When he comes to, tell him that was a crowbar from Sears. ”

There was this little guy sitting in a bar, drinking, minding his own business when all of a sudden this great big dude comes in and --WHACK!!-- knocks him off the bar stool and onto the floor.

The idiot says,' That was a karate chop from Korea.'

The little guy thinks' GEEZ,' but he gets back up on the stool and starts drinking again when all of a sudden --WHACK-- the big dude knocks him down AGAIN and says,' That was a judo chop from Japan.' So the little guy has had enough of this.

He gets up, brushes himself off and quietly leaves.

The little guy is gone for an hour or so when he returned. Without saying a word, he walks up behind the big idiot and *WHACK* bangs the big dude off his stool, knocking him out cold!!!

The little guy looks at the bartender and says,' When he comes to, tell him that is a crowbar from Sears.'

The chief of staff of the US Air Force decided that he would personally intervene in the recruiting crisis affecting all of our armed services. He directed that a nearby Air Force base that will be opened and that all eligible young men and women be invited.
As he and his staff were standing near a brand new F-15 Fighter, twin brothers, who looked like they had just stepped off a Marine Corps recruiting poster walked up to them. The chief of staff walked up to them, stuck out his hand and introduced himself.
He looked at the first young man and asked, "Son, what skills can you bring to the Air Force?"
The young man looks at him and says, "I'm a pilot!"
The general gets all excited, turns to his aide and says, "Get him in today, all the paper work done, everything, do it!"
The aide hustles the young man off. The general looks at the second young man and asked, "What skills to you bring to the Air Force?"
The young man more...

A lady is throwing a party for her granddaughter, and had gone all out... a caterer, band, and a hired clown. Just before the party started, two bums showed up looking for a handout. Feeling sorry for the bums, the woman told them that she would give them a meal if they will help chop some wood for her.Gratefully, they headed to the rear of the house.The guests arrived, and all was going well with the children having a wonderful time. But the clown hadn't shown up. After a half an hour, the clown finally called to report that he was stuck in traffic, and would probably not make the party at all.The woman was very disappointed and unsuccessfully tried to entertain the children herself. She happened to look out the window and saw one of the bums doing cartwheels across the lawn. She watched in awe as he swung from tree branches, did midair flips, and leaped high in the air.She spoke to the other bum and said, "What your friend is doing is absolutely marvelous. I have never seen more...

A lady is throwing a party for her granddaughter, and had gone all out... a caterer, band, and a hired clown. Just before the party started, two bums showed up looking for a handout. Feeling sorry for the bums, the woman told them that she would give them a meal if they will help chop some wood for her out back. Gratefully, they headed to the rear of the house.
The guests arrived, and all was going well with the children having a wonderful time. But the clown hadn't shown up. After a half and hour, the clown finally called to report that he was stuck in traffic, and would probably not make the party at all.
The woman was very disappointed and unsuccessfully tried to entertain the children herself. She happened to look out the window and saw one of the bums doing cartwheels across the lawn. She watched in awe as he swung from tree branches, did mid-air flips, and leaped high in the air.
She spoke to the other bum and said, "What your friend is doing is absolutely more...

There were three men who worked in this resteraunt. One man was a singer who can only say "MI MI MI". The second man can only say "GOODI GOOODI GOODI GOODI GOODI." The third man was a French chef and the only words he can say in English are "CUT AND CHOP CUT AND CHOP".
One day, a police offcer comes into the restaurant and tells the three men that there has been a murder in this town and asked if any of them committed the murder.
The singer says "MI MI MI", then the police officer asked how he did it, to which the second man replied, "CUT AND CHOP CUT AND CHOP"
Then the shocked officer said "You know your going to jail for this, and the other man said "GOODI GOODI GOODI GOODI GOODI!"

The chief of staff of the US Air Force decided that he would personally intervene in the recuiting crisis affecting all of our armed services.
So, he directed that a nearby Air Force base be opened and that all elgible young men and women be invited.
As he and his staff were standing near an brand new F-15 Fighter, a pair of twin brothers who looked like they had just stepped off a Marine Corps recruiting poster walked up to them.
The chief of staff walked up to them, stuck out his hand and introduced himself.
He looked at the first young man and asked, "Son, what skills can you bring to the Air Force?"
The young man looks at him and says, "I'm a pilot!"
The general gets all excited, turns to his aide and says, "Get him in today, all the paper work done, everything, do it!" The aide hustles the young man off.
The general looks at the second young man and asked, "What skills to you bring to the Air Force?"
The more...