Doormat Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day a child and his father are on a bike ride down a country lane until the man falls off, and shouts BASTARD as he wimpers in pain and the child asks "Daddy what does bastard mean". The man still wimpering in pain looks around and searches for something and he sees a police car in the distance and says to his son, "Bastard means police man son". Later on when they get home, the man is watching a football match and has just lost a bet on it and shouts "My arse" due to an offside and the child asks his dad, "What does my arse mean dad?" so the man puzzled again looks around and looks at the door and sees the doormat, and says "Doormat son, doormat" later that night, the man is shaving and cuts himself and screams "SHIT!" and the little boy asks what shit means. His father still holding his face feels the shaving cream and says "Shaving cream son, shaving cream," The little boy walks downstairs and his mum has more...

The evening had been going very well, but now, at the critical moment, the girl wouldn't let the playboy into her apartment. Her excuse was thin: "My roommate's home."
Bitter, her date said, "In other words, I'm supposed to ignore this doormat that says Welcome?"
"Of course, silly," she laughed. "There certainly isn't room enough for us on that!"

A guy hears a knocking on his door. He opens it up, and no one is there. He looks all around and he finally sees a little snail sitting on the doormat. He picks it up and throws it across the street into a field.
Ten years later, he hears a knocking on his door. He opens it up and no one is there. He looks all around, and he finally sees a little snail sitting on the doormat.
The snail says,' What the heck was that all about?'

A guy hears a knocking on his door. He opens it up, and no one is there. He looks all around and he finally sees a little snail sitting on the doormat. He picks it up and throws it across the street into a field.

Ten years later, he hears a knocking on his door. He opens it up and no one is there. He looks all around, and he finally sees a little snail sitting on the doormat.

The snail says,' What the heck was that all about?'

A guy hears a knocking on his door. He opens it up, and noone is there. He looks all around and he finally sees alittle snail sitting on the doormat. He picks it up andthrows it across the street into a field. Ten years go by, and one day he hears a knocking on hisdoor. He opens it up and no one is there. He looks all around, and he finally sees a little snailsitting on the doormat. The snail looks up and says, "What the hell was that allabout?"