Elmo Jokes / Recent Jokes
These are supposedly actual classified ads that have appeared in various papers across the world.
SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE... ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.
2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES, 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR: $15
TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX, COMES WITH IT'S OWN 1988 MUSTANG, 5L, AUTO, EXCELLENT CONDITION $6800
TICKLE ME ELMO. NEW IN BOX. HARDLY TICKLED. $700
VALENTINES DAY SALE: TY-D-BOL BLUE TOSS-INS
STAR WARS JOB OF THE HUT -- $15
DO SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR YOUR VALENTINE - HAVE YOUR SEPTIC TANK PUMPED.
FULL SIZED MATTRESS. 20 YR WARRANTY. LIKE NEW. SLIGHT URINE SMELL.
FREE 1 CAN OF PORK & BEANS WITH PURCHASE OF 3 BR 2 BTH HOME.
These are supposedly actual classified ads that have appeared in various papers across the world. SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE...ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS. 2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES, 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR: $15 TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX, COMES WITH IT'S OWN 1988 MUSTANG, 5L, AUTO, EXCELLENT CONDITION $6800 TICKLE ME ELMO. NEW IN BOX. HARDLY TICKLED. $700 VALENTINES DAY SALE: TY-D-BOL BLUE TOSS-INS STAR WARS JOB OF THE HUT - $15 DO SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR YOUR VALENTINE - HAVE YOUR SEPTIC TANK PUMPED. FULL SIZED MATTRESS. 20 YR WARRANTY. LIKE NEW. SLIGHT URINE SMELL. FREE 1 CAN OF PORK + BEANS WITH PURCHASE OF 3 BR 2 BTH HOME.
A very modest lady applied for a job at the factory where they made "Tickle me
Elmo dolls". It was Friday and almost quitting time and hurriedly the boss told
her to report for work on Monday. He quickly explained to her she would be
stationed on the assembly line just before the dolls were packed into boxes.
On Monday they started up the line and within twenty minutes had to shut it down
because one worker couldn't keep up. The boss went down the line to find the
problem. The new employee was very busy trying to do her part but she had a
bunch of dolls waiting for her.
Closer examination showed she was sewing little cloth bags containing two
walnuts in the appropriate place on the dolls.
The boss could not control his laughter and said, "Lady, I said to give each
doll Two - Test - Tickles."
A very modest lady applied for a job at the factory where they made "Tickle me Elmo dolls". It was Friday and almost quitting time and hurriedly the boss told her to report for work on Monday. He quickly explained to her she would be stationed on the assembly line just before the dolls were packed into boxes.
On Monday they started up the line and within twenty minutes had to shut it down because one worker couldn't keep up. The boss went down the line to find the problem. The new employee was very busy trying to do her part but she had a bunch of dolls waiting for her. Closer examination showed she was sewing little cloth bags containing two walnuts in the appropriate place on the dolls.
The boss could not control his laughter and said, "Lady, I said to give each doll Two-Test-Tickles."
A very modest woman applied for a job at a factory where they manufacture Tickle-Me Elmo dolls. Since it was Friday and almost quitting time, the boss quickly told her to report for work on Monday. He explained that she would be stationed on the assembly line just before the dolls are packed into boxes.
On Monday they started up the line and within twenty minutes had to shut it down because one worker was having difficulty keeping up. The boss went down the line to find the problem. The new employee was very busy trying to do her part but she had a bunch of dolls lined up waiting for her. Closer examination revealed that she was sewing little cloth bags containing two walnuts in the appropriate place on the dolls.
Unable to control his laughter, the boss said, "Lady, I said give each doll Two..Test..Tickles."
A very modest lady applied for a job at the factory where they made "Tickle Me Elmo" dolls. It was Friday and almost quitting time, and hurriedly the boss told her to to report for work on Monday. He quickly explained to her she would be stationed on the assembly line just before the dolls were packed into boxes.
On Monday they started up the line and within twenty minutes had to shut down because one worker couldn't keep up. The boss went down the line to find the problem. The new employee was very busy trying to do her part but she had a bunch of dolls waiting for her.
Closer examination showed she was sewing little cloth bags containing two walnuts in the appropriate place on the dolls.
The boss could not control his laughter and said,
"Lady, I said to give each doll Two-----Test-----Tickles."
What was the last thing they gave to Elmo before he left the factory?
2 testtickles!