Elmo Jokes / Recent Jokes

A few weeks before Christmas a very modest lady applied for a job at the factory where they made "Tickle Me Elmo" dolls.
It was Friday and almost quitting time and hurriedly the boss told her to report for work on Monday. He quickly explained to her she would be stationed on the assembly line just before the dolls were packed into boxes.
On Monday they started up the line and within twenty minutes had to shut it down because one worker couldn't keep up. The boss went down the line to find the problem. The new employee was very busy trying to do her part, but she had a bunch of dolls waiting for her. Closer examination showed she was sewing little cloth bags containing two walnuts in the appropriate place on the dolls.
The boss could not control his laughter and said, "Lady, I said to give each doll Two - "Test" - Tickles.

A few weeks before Christmas a very modest lady applied for a job at the factory where they made "Tickle Me Elmo" dolls.It was Friday and almost quitting time and hurriedly the boss told her to report for work on Monday. He quickly explained to her she would be stationed on the assembly line just before the dolls were packed into boxes.On Monday they started up the line and within twenty minutes had to shut it down because one worker couldn't keep up. The boss went down the line to find the problem. The new employee was very busy trying to do her part, but she had a bunch of dolls waiting for her. Closer examination showed she was sewing little cloth bags containing two walnuts in the appropriate place on the dolls.The boss could not control his laughter and said, "Lady, I said to give each doll Two - "Test" - Tickles.

A woman desperately looking for work went into a factory. The personnel manager looked over her resume and regretfully explained to her that he had nothing worthy of her talents. The woman answered that she really needed work and would take almost anything. The personnel manager hemmed and hawed and finally said that he did have a low-skill job on the Tickle Me Elmo line, but nothing else.
The woman happily accepted his offer. He took her down to the line, explained her duties, and told her to report at 8: 00 AM the next day.
The next day at 8: 45 there was a knock at the personnel manager's door. The Tickle Me Elmo line manager came in and started ranting about the woman who had just been hired. After listening to how badly backed up the assembly line was, the personnel manager suggested that the line manager show him the problem.
Together they went down to the line and, sure enough, Elmos were backed up from here to kingdom come. Right at the end of the line was the more...

Kevin Clash, the man who created, puppeteers, and voices Elmo from Sesame Street has written a book about his life. It is called "My Life as a Furry Red Monster." The most interesting thing in the book is that, ironically, Mr. Clash hates to be tickled.

Tickle Me Elmo:
There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8: 00 AM.
The next day at 8: 45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.
The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up. At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's.
She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles. The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little more...

These are supposedly actual classified ads that have appeared in various papers across the world.
Snow blower for sale…only used on snowy days.
2 wire mesh butchering gloves, 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, pair: $15
Tickle me elmo, still in box, comes with it’s own 1988 mustang, 5l, auto, excellent condition $6800
Tickle me elmo. new in box. hardly tickled. $700
Valentines day sale: ty-d-bol blue toss-ins
Star wars job of the hut - $15
Do something special for your valentine - have your septic tank pumped.
Full sized mattress. 20 yr warranty. like new. slight urine smell.
Free 1 can of pork & beans with purchase of 3 br 2 bth home.

Q: What is the last thing each Tickle Me Elmo doll receives before he leaves the factory? A: Two Test Tickles