Embedded Jokes

1. Open an executable file on my machine. Please don't send any.
1a. Open Word documents (notorious for their embedded macros, possibly infected). (Get WordPerfect, at least its got a spell checker that's literate.) Please don't send any.
2. Read or pass on ANY kind of chain letter. Please don't send any.
3. Read a message that's been forwarded multiple times and is embedded three or more emails deep. If it's worth sending, it's worth copying and pasting; I receive too many emails to go up to my waist in any particular one, or read through 2 screens of email addresses. Please don't send any.
Why?
Because. .. I don't have "Microsoft" patience.

1. Open an executable file on my machine. Please don't send any.
1a. Open Word documents (notorious for their embedded macros, possibly infected). (Get WordPerfect, at least its got a spell checker that's literate.) Please don't send any.
2. Read or pass on ANY kind of chain letter. Please don't send any.
3. Read a message that's been forwarded multiple times and is embedded three or more emails deep. If it's worth sending, it's worth copying and pasting; I receive too many emails to go up to my waist in any particular one, or read through 2 screens of email addresses. Please don't send any.
Why?
Because... I don't have "Microsoft" patience.

Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airplanes, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of thewindshields.British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the British engineers. When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurtled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the pilot's backrest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin, like a bolt shot from a crossbow. The horrified Brits sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs for the windshield, andbegged the U.S. scientists for suggestions.NASA responded with a one-line memo: more...