Ernest Jokes / Recent Jokes
I know a mother-in-law who sleeps in her spectacles, the better to see her son-in-law suffer in her dreams. - Attributed to Ernest Coquelin
However much you dislike you mother-in-law you must not set fire to her. - Ernest Wild
Distrust all mothers-in-law. They are completely unscrupulous in what they say in court. The wife's mother is always more prejudiced against the husband than even the most ill-treated wife. If I had my way, I am afraid I would abolish mothers-in-law entirely. - Sir Geoffrey Wrangham
Behind every successful man stands a devoted wife and a surprised mother-in-law.
Adam and Eve were the happiest and the luckiest couple in the world, because neither of them had a mother-in-law.
Sometimes you cannot tell if a man is trying so hard to be a success to please his wife or to spite his mother-in-law.
Does it really surprise anyone that Mother-in-Law's Day occurs less than one week before more...
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."-- Winston Churchill "A modest little person, with much to be modest about."-- Winston Churchill "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."-- Clarence Darrow "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."-- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway) "Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?"-- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner) "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."-- Moses Hadas "He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."-- Abraham Lincoln "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."-- Groucho Marx "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."-- Mark Twain "He has no enemies, but is intensely more...
. .. Ambulance is a mule driven buckboard with a spinning lantern.
... Nurses wear flour sack uniforms and look like burned out cloggers.
... Dogs hang around O.R. for scraps.
... Maternity Room is a do-it-yourself with fresh straw, a jack knife and a string.
... Anesthesiologist in bib overalls, feeds you a clear liquid out of a mason jar.
... Your Gynecologist is Ernest.
... Your Proctologist, who watched Deliverance 200 times, asks you if can squeal like a pig.
... The Interns are led by Ernest T. Bass.
... Surgical instruments include a stick of dynamite and a chain saw.
... Hospital food consist of picking-your-own corn on the roof.
... Immunizations are worn fanny-packs, full of lizard's feet, owl's beaks and pig's ears.
... Double By-Pass Surgery is only done when it's shown on The Learning Channel.
... You have a choice of walkers, with or without more...
Ernest Hemmingway once said that the only true sports out there are bloodsports: boxing, bullfighting, mountain climbing. Anything else, he said, was just a game.
How much d'you wanna bet Ernest Hemmingway had a really small dick?
Maternity Room is a do-it-yourself with fresh straw, a jack knife and a string. Anesthesiologist in bib overalls, feeds you a clear liquid out of a mason jar. Your Gynecologist is Ernest. Your Proctologist, who watched Deliverance 200 times, asks you if can squeal like a pig. The Interns are led by Ernest T. Bass. Surgical instruments include a stick of dynamite and a chain saw. You own a home that is mobile and 5 cars that aren't.You think the stock market has a fence around it.