Firm Jokes / Recent Jokes

The Americans and the Japanese decided to engage in a competitive boat race. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day they felt ready. The Japanese won by a mile. Afterward, the American team was discouraged by the loss. Morale sagged.

Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found, so a consulting firm was hired to investigate the problem and recommended corrective action. The consultant's finding: The Japanese team had eight people rowing and one person steering; the American team had one person rowing and eight people steering.

After a year of study and millions spent analyzing the problem, the consultant firm concluded that too many people were steering and not enough were rowing on the American team.

So as race day neared the following year, the American team's management structure was completely reorganized. The new structure: Four steering managers, three area more...

One day while walking down the street a highly successful partner in a law firm was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.

“Welcome to Heaven, ” said St. Peter. “Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we’ve never once had an law firm partner make it this far and we’re not really sure what to do with you. ”

“No problem, just let me in, ” said the woman.

“Well, I’d like to, but I have higher orders. What we’re going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in. ”

“Actually, I think I’ve made up my mind…I prefer to stay in Heaven”, replied the woman.

“Sorry, we have rules…” And with that St. Peter put the law partner in an elevator and which slowly descended to the depths of more...

Ever notice a theme in company names? If it's a single somewhat aristocratic sounding name such as "Bogglesworth of London, Est. 1793", they're most likely a tea, coffee, or wine importer. If it's two names, such as Gilchrist & Soames or Avalon & Gray, they seem to deal with soap, skin care, or clothing products. If it's three names, it's an insurance firm or small law firm. If it's four names, it's an upper tier law firm. If it's five names, it's a small law firm that's merged with a soap company.

OPERATIONAL EXCELLENCE? Once upon a time, an American company and a Japanese company decided to have competitive boat race on the Bear River. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day, they both felt as ready as they could be. The Japanese won by a mile! Afterwards the American Team became very discouraged by the losses and morale began to sag. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found. A The "Continuous Improvement Team" was established to investigate the problem and to recommend appropriate corrective action. THEIR CONCLUSION: The problem was that the Japanese Team had eight people rowing and one person steering, whereby the American Team had one person rowing and eight people steering. The American Corporate Steering Committee immediately hired a consulting firm to do a study on the management structure. After some time and millions of dollars, the consulting firm concluded that too many more...

A junior partner in a law firm was sent to a far away country to represent a long-term client accused of robbery. After days of trial, the case was won, the client acquitted and released.
Excited about his success, the attorney e-mailed the firm:? Justice prevailed.?
The senior partner replied in haste,? Appeal immediately.?

There was once an accounting firm where the senior CPA knew every thing there was to know about accounting. He could answer any question. He knew all the tax laws: There wasn't a better accountant anywhere.

Every morning when he came to work, he would unlock his desk drawer, open it up and look inside for a minute, and then close and lock it again.

This puzzled all of his co-workers, because it was the only eccentricity that this person exhibited. They tried many times to look over his shoulder, or get into his desk when he wasn't there, without success.

One day when the elderly man was sitting at his desk, going over an account, he suffered a heart attack and died. This upset everyone tremendously. However, now that he was gone, the other members of the firm could finally see what was in the drawer.

After obtaining the keys, they unlocked the desk drawer and cautiously peeked inside. They found one sheet of paper, and written in large more...

The Indians and the Japanese decided to engage in a competitive boat race. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day they felt ready. The Japanese won by a mile.
Afterward, the India team was discouraged by the loss. Morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found, so a consulting firm was hired to investigate the problem and recommended corrective action. The consultant's finding:
The Japanese team had eight people rowing and one person steering; the Indian team had one person rowing and eight people steering.
After a year of study and millions spent analyzing the problem, the consultant firm concluded that too many people were steering and not enough were rowing on the Indian team.
So as race day neared again the following year, the Indian team's management structure was completely reorganized. The new structure: four steering managers, three area steering managers and a new more...