Flea Jokes / Recent Jokes

A great Russian scientist Ivan Ivanowich Ivanow made experiments with a flea.
He said: "Jump, flea!" and it jumped 40 centimetres high.
So he took a pencil (a big Russian invention) and put the following record in the experimental log: "I said:' Jump, flea!' and it jumped 40 cm."
Then he tore off one of the flea's legs. He said: "Jump, flea!" and it jumped 30 centimetres high. He recorded: "When I tore off one leg, the flea jumped 30 cm."
Then he continued tearing off other legs and the flea jumped 20, 10, and 2 centimeters high, respectively. Everything was recorded in the log book.
When only 1 leg remained, the poor flea jumped only 1 millimeter and a half high. Again, it was recorded.
Finally he tore off the last leg. He said: "Jump, flea!". No response.
He said again (in a high voice): "Jump, flea!". Nothing.
He shouted: "Jump, flea!!!". The flea did not move.
So Ivan more...

Why was the mother flea feeling down in the dumps? Because she thought her children were all going to the dogs.

A prominent Polish scientist conducted very important experiment. He trained a flea to jump upon giving her a verbal command ("Jump!"). In a first stage of experiment he removed fleas leg, told her to jump, and the flea jumped. So he wrote in his scientific notebook: "Upon removing one leg all flea organs function properly."So, he removed the second leg, asked the flea to jump, she obeyed, so he wrote again: "Upon removing the second leg all flea organs function properly."Thereafter he removed all the legs but one, the flea jumped when ordered, so he wrote again: "Upon removing the next leg all flea organs function properly."Then he removed the last leg. Told flea to jump, and nothing happened. He did not want to take a chance, so he repeated the experiment several times, and the leg less flea never jumped. So he wrote the conclusion: "Upon removing the last leg the flea loses sense of hearing"

What did the clean dog say to the insect? Long time no flea! Who rode a dog and was a confederate general during the American Civil War? Robert E Flea! What is the difference between a flea bitten dog and a bored visitor? Ones going to itch and the other is itching to go! What do you call a cheerful flea? A hop-timist! What did the idiot do to the flea in his ear? Shot it! What did one flea say to the other after a night out? Shall we walk home or take a dog? What did the romantic flea say? I love you aw-flea! How to fleas travel? Itch hiking! What is the difference between fleas and dogs? Dogs can have fleas but fleas can't have dogs! Why did the stupid boy wear a turlte neck sweater? To hide his flea collar!

A prominent Polish scientist conducted very important experiment. He trained a flea to jump upon giving her a verbal command (”Jump! ”).
In a first stage of experiment he removed flea’s leg, told her to jump, and the flea jumped. So he wrote in his scientific notebook: “Upon removing one leg all flea organs function properly. ”
So, he removed the second leg, asked the flea to jump, she obeyed, so he wrote again: “Upon removing the second leg all flea organs function properly. ”
Thereafter he removed all the legs but one, the flea jumped when ordered, so he wrote again: “Upon removing the next leg all flea organs function properly. ”
Then he removed the last leg. Told flea to jump, and nothing happened. He did not want to take a chance, so he repeated the experiment several times, and the leg less flea never jumped. So he wrote the conclusion: “Upon removing the last leg the flea loses sense of hearing”

What did one amorous flea say to the other? I love you aw-flea.

What did the idiot do to the flea in his ear? Shot it!