Floppy Jokes / Recent Jokes

When two (ore more) people are working a desks that are put next to each other, switch their telephone cords. With all those cables lying around it will take some time before they find that one out!

Put a peice of onion or a clove of garlic inside the mouthpiece of a phone. Give it some time for it to fester and build up a strong odor. Then call them and keep them on the phone for as long as possible.

It is allways a good habit to lock your computer before heading off for coffee or a smoke. When someone forgets and leaves a Word document or an email open, type a single word somewhere in the text. “f*ck” or so will do nicely. They’ll never notice and send it out.

Get a hold of someone's cell phone and change the greeting banner to say "NO SERVICE". Many cell phones have greeting banners on them that you can personalize to say whatever you want them to and it stays on there when you're not using your phone. Also, when there is no service more...

Dr. Seuss as Technical Writer
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
and the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
and the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.
If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
and your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!
If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
but your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
and your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,
so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!
When the more...

Dr. Seuss as Technical Writer If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
and the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
and the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
then the socket packet pocket has an error to report. If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
and your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash! If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
but your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
and your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,
so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!
When the copy of your more...

"Hard drive" -
Trying to climb a steep, muddy hill with 3 flat tires and pulling a trailer load of fertilizer.
"Keyboard" -
1. Place to hang your truck keys.
2. Whare you're supposed to put da keys so da wife can find 'em.
"Window" -
Place in the truck to hang your guns.
"Floppy" -
When you run out of Polygrip.
"Modem" -
1. How you got rid of your dandelions.
2. What you did to da hay fields last July. (from NetDummy Humor)
"ROM" -
Delicious when you mix it with coca cola.
"Byte" -
First word in a kiss-off phrase.
"Reboot" -
What you do when the first pair gets covered with barnyard stuff.
"Network" -
Activity meant to provide bait for your trot line.
"Mouse" -
1. Fuzzy, soft thing you stuff in your beer bottle in order to get a free case.
2. What leaves those little turds in da more...

1. "My hard disk won't boot". I suggest they take the floppy
> out of drive A:. Later when I arrive, they have successfully
> removed the floppy drive from the machine (with the floppy disk
> still inside).
>
> 2. "My dog goes nuts when I run Windows. No problem with any
> DOS programs". Her monitor had a cracked flyback transformer.
> When the multisync monitor switched scan rates upon entering
> Windows, the high frequency audio produced by the broken flyback
> was heard by the dog.
>
> 3. "Michaelangelo virus ate my hard disk, but I have a tape
> backup. Can you help me restore the system". No problem.
> When I arrive, I find the data on the tape was 18 months old and
> that she had never run a backup. "I thought you just shoved
> in the tape and it sucked up the data".
>
> 4. "How do I get on the national data information super highway?".
> I more...