Germany Jokes / Recent Jokes
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Germany.
Germany, who?
Germany people knocking at your door!
All of the following town names are REAL:
Long Dong (Guangxi, China)
Blowhard (Australia)
Pickles Gap (Arkansas)
Petting (Germany)
Mount Mee (Australia)
Titting (Germany)
Lickdale (Pennsylvania, USA)
Yocumtown (Pennsylvania, USA)
Fugit (Kentucky, USA)
Assinippi (Massachusetts, USA)
Big Cockup and Little Cockup (England)
Cocktown (Wexford, Ireland)
Sally's Gap (Ireland)
Dick Johnson (Indiana, USA)
Beaver Bottom (Kentucky, USA)
Black Butte (Oregon, USA)
Sandy Balls (England)
Tilicum (Washington, USA)
Cockburn (Australia)
Bangor (Wales)
Dyckesville (Wisconsin, USA)
Ballville (Ohio, USA)
Prickwillow (England)
Black Charlie's Opening (England)
Kinmount (Ontario, Canada)
Euren (Wisconsin, USA)
Cockland (Ohio, USA)
Assville (Tennessee, USA)
Spuzzum (Canada)
Bloody Dick (Montana, USA)
Shafter (California, USA)
Beaver (Oklahoma, USA)
Mt. Buggery more...
The Eastern European art of the political joke is in abeyance
in Poland right now, because what previously had to be veiled
can be, and is, said out loud. However, in the GDR and in Romania
freedom of speech hasn't broken ground yet.
A young member of the German communist party went to his senior comrade
with a strange request: he wanted permission from the Party to emigrate
to West Germany. (It is only with the permission of the Party that
people are allowed to leave East Germany. Often it is ''granted'' as
a method of eliminating people with inappropriate attitudes.)
''For what reasons could you possibly want to leave the Socialist
paradise, young comrade?''
''Well, sir, I have a main reason, and
a kind of side reason. The side reason is this: I know our Party
has established a paradise here in the Democratic Republic, but the
reason I want to leave is that I am very afraid that is will not last.''
''Don't worry, son! It more...
Here are some of the classic questions that were asked of the Sydney Olympic Committee via their Web site, and the witty answers that go with them. Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: Upwards, out of the ground, like the person who asked this question, who themselves will need watering if their IQ drops any lower... Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much beer you've consumed... Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, so you'll need to have started about a year ago to get there in time for this October... Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
A: And accomplish what? Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why bother? Use your fingers like the rest of us... Q: Do tents exist in Australia? (Germany)
A: Yes, but only in sporting supply more...
Why did both Germany and the U.S want to hire Apes during World War Two? Because they are excellent at waging Gorilla warfare!
A young member of the German communist party went to his senior comrade with a strange request: he wanted permission from the Party to emigrate to West Germany. (It is only with the permission of the Party that people are allowed to leave East Germany. Often it is "granted'' as a method of eliminating people with inappropriate attitudes.)
"For what reasons could you possibly want to leave the Socialist paradise, young comrade?"
"Well, sir, I have a main reason, and a kind of side reason. The side reason is this: I know our Party has established a paradise here in the Democratic Republic, but the reason I want to leave is that I am very afraid that it will not last."
"Don't worry, son! It will last for ever."
"Well, good, sir: but that brings me to my main reason...."
A doctor started having an affair with his nurse, and shortly after this started, she announced that she had become pregnant.
Not wanting his wife to find out, he gave her a large amount of money and asked her to go out of the country, to Germany, to wait out the pregnancy and have the baby over there.
"But how will you know when our baby is born?" she asked.
"Well", he said, "After you've had the baby, just send me a post card and write' sauerkraut' on the back". Not knowing what else to do, she took the money and went off to Germany.
Six months went by and then one day the doctor's wife called him at his office. "Dear, you received a very strange post card in the mail today", she explained. "I don't understand what it means!".
"Just wait till I get home and I'll read it," he replied.
Later that evening, the doctor came home and read his post card which said:
"SAUERKRAUT, SAUERKRAUT, more...