Hooker Jokes / Recent Jokes

One night after his evening service, a priest decided to take a walk. A wrong turn led him into the red light district. On the first corner, he saw a hooker dressed in a halter and hot pants leaning against a lamppost.

Seeing the fallen woman, the priest went up and said, "My dear, I have spent my nights praying for you."

"No need to do that, Father," the hooker said. "I'm here every night. You can have me any time you want."

As a hooker was dressing, she turned to her customer and asked, "Have you justgotten out of prison?""Yeah," the guy replied. "How did you guess? Is it because I wanted to have sexfrom the rear?""Partly." She said. "But more because when we finished, you ran around in frontof me, bent over, and shouted, YOUR TURN."

A guy in the navy is out on leave. He realizes that he has an hour left. He really wants to get a piece of ass before he goes back, so he runs to the nearest whore-house and procures himself a hooker. He goes up into her room and doesn't mess around, pulling his pants down and jumping on for the ride.
He starts humping her and he notices that every time he humps, her toes curl up! He figures he must be pretty good in the sack if can get a hooker's toes to curl.
He comes back the next day and asks for the same hooker. He goes a little bit earlier so he can talk to her and take his time. He goes up to the room and they both undress. Before getting in bed, the sailor says: "I got the impression that you were impressed with my love-making yesterday."
The hooker replies: "Oh? Why's that?" He says,"I noticed every time I humped you, your toes would curl up!" The Hooker says: "For your information, sailor-boy, that's what happens when you don't more...

One day, after striking gold in Alaska, a Lonesome miner came down from the mountains and walked into a saloon in the nearest town. "I'm lookin' for the meanest toughest and roughest hooker in the Yukon," he said to the bartender. "We got her" replied the bartender. "She's upstairs in the second room on the right. The miner handed the bartender a gold nugget to pay for the hooker and two beers. He grabbed the bottles, stomped up the stairs, kicked the door open on the second door on the right and yelled, "I'm looking for the meanest roughest and toughest hooker in the Yukon." The woman inside the room looked at the miner and said, "You found her!" Then she stripped naked, bent over and grabbed her ankles. "How do you know I want that position first?" asked the miner. "I don't replied the hooker, "but I thought you might want to open those beers first."

An 85 year old man, wanting some action, went downtown with the hopes of picking up a prostitute. He noticed one in particular that looked good to him, so he began to flirt with her.
After a while of his flirting, the hooker began to get annoyed and said, "Take a hike old man. You're ruining my business. Get lost!"
"I sure would like to get some action tonight," the old man said.
"You must be kidding! You're way too old! You're all finished," she said.
"What did you say?" asked the old man, cupping his hand to his ear.
"You heard me, old man. You're all finished," the hooker replied.
"Oh, ok," the old man said, "how much do I owe you?"

A furrier from the US goes to Helsinki to buy furs. He arranges for a hooker to be sent to his room. When they're done, he said, "I'm afraid myFinnish isn't too good." The hooker replied, "Your foreplay ain't allthat hot either."

WHATS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A ROOSTER AND A HOOKER?
A ROOSTER SAYS COCKADOODLEDO AND THE HOOKER SAYS ANYCOCKWILLDO