Jewelry Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man walks into a jewelry store on a friday with a sexy blond on tow.
"We would like to have a look at your ring collection" the man says to the jeweler.
The jeweler shows him a couple of rings in the R10k range....
"No" the man replies, "i'm looking for something REALLY nice".
The jeweler then takes him to the back, into the safe and past the security guards to the seriously expensive rings.
The man selects the most impressive one and asks the jeweler - -How much for this one?
R250k replies the jeweler, while watching the blond's face light up like a christmas tree.
OK, i will take it says the man, but can i pay by cheque?
"I am afraid we do not accept cheques" replies the jeweler.
OK says the man- How about i write you the cheque, then you keep the ring and the cheque until the cheque clears, and only then will we pick the ring up.
Fantastic plan, says the jeweler!!
Then the man leaves the jewelry more...

Judi was walking by the jewelry store one day in the midtown mall. She saw a diamond bracelet that she really liked. In the store she went.“Excuse me,” she said to the sales lady behind the counter, “Will a small deposit
hold that bracelet until my husband does something unforgivable?”

At a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend. "Don't you want her name engraved upon it?" asked the jeweler. The young man thought for a moment, and then, ever the pragmatic, steadfastly replied,
"No, just engrave it: To My One And Only Love. That way, if we break up and she throws it back to me in anger, I can use it again."

Q: What kind of jewelry does Hillary look best in? A: Handcuffs.

TEENAGE ASIAN GANGSTERS Your car probably looks like this by now. Wears a Buddha bracelet on wrist. Start smoking cigarettes by the age of 13. Wear some really baggy pants with a white logo T-shirt. Have either the typical Asian haircut with long dyed bangs or some slicked back hair. Still trying to lose virginity to some clueless babe. Kiss up to older gang members to increase rank. OLDER ASIAN GANGSTERS Sport a lot of gold jewelry to show off. Wear nice tight pants, with HK-Style See-Through Shirts. Been Smoking for at least 10 years. Still trying to lose virginity to some clueless babe. Tell stories about glorious past to younger gangsters. Treat the teenagers good so they can introduce you to young virgin girls. Living at home with parents, still! Slick back hair, or just regular Asian haircut. Show off with guns and drugs which actually belong to someone else. Hang out in gambling dens and massage parlors, but never do anything but watch the other people. LEADERS OF ASIAN GANGS more...