Leary Jokes

One day O'Leary decided to visit his friend Paddy and ask him for a favour.
"Paddy my friend", he said. "I'm going on holiday for a few weeks an I wanted to know if you could come around a couple a times a day to check up on me elderly ma, an feed me cat".
"No problem", replied Paddy. "You go an have a good time".
So the next day O'Leary left and headed for sunny Florida. However, after a week of him being there, he received a phone call from Paddy. "Everything's ok over here", Paddy said.
"Except you're cat. It's dead"!
"oly ell", replied O'Leary. "You could have been a bit more sensitive Paddy"!
"What do you mean?", replied Paddy.
"Well, one day you could have rang me up and told me that my cat has climbed the tree. The next day you could tell me that it has gone even higher up the tree and refuses to come down. On the third day you could tell me that the cat more...

One day O'Leary decided to visit his friend Paddy and ask him for a favour." Paddy my friend", he said. "I'm going on holiday for a few weeks an I wanted to know if you could come around a couple a times a day to check up on me elderly ma, an feed me cat"." No problem", replied Paddy. "You go an have a good time". So the next day O'Leary left and headed for sunny Florida. However, after a week of him being there, he received a phone call from Paddy. "Everything's ok over here", Paddy said." Except you're cat. It's dead"!"oly ell", replied O'Leary. "You could have been a bit more sensitive Paddy"!"What do you mean?", replied Paddy." Well, one day you could have rang me up and told me that my cat has climbed the tree. The next day you could tell me that it has gone even higher up the tree and refuses to come down. On the third day you could tell me that the cat lost its grip and fell from the more...

One day O'Leary decided to visit his friend Paddy and ask him for a favour."Paddy my friend", he said. "I'm going on holiday for a few weeks an I wanted to know if you could come around a couple a times a day to check up on me elderly ma, an feed me cat"."No problem", replied Paddy. "You go an have a good time".So the next day O'Leary left and headed for sunny Florida. However, after a week of him being there, he received a phone call from Paddy. "Everything's ok over here", Paddy said."Except you're cat. It's dead"!"oly ell", replied O'Leary. "You could have been a bit more sensitive Paddy"!"What do you mean?", replied Paddy."Well, one day you could have rang me up and told me that my cat has climbed the tree. The next day you could tell me that it has gone even higher up the tree and refuses to come down. On the third day you could tell me that the cat lost its grip and fell from the tree more...

One day O'Leary decided to visit his friend Paddy and ask him for a favour.

"Paddy my friend", he said. "I'm going on holiday for a few weeks an I wanted to know if you could come around a couple a times a day to check up on me elderly ma, an feed me cat".

"No problem", replied Paddy. "You go an have a good time".

So the next day O'Leary left and headed for sunny Florida. However, after a week of him being there, he received a phone call from Paddy. "Everything's ok over here", Paddy said.
"Except you're cat. It's dead"!

"oly ell", replied O'Leary. "You could have been a bit more sensitive Paddy"!
"What do you mean?", replied Paddy.

"Well, one day you could have rang me up and told me that my cat has climbed the tree. The next day you could tell me that it has gone even higher up the tree and refuses to come down. On the third more...

Father O'leary and Rabbi Goldberg played chess each Wednesday in the park. The chess game usually included religious discussion and debate. This week the discussion turned to religious sins.
Rabbi Goldberg said, "In my religion it is forbidden to eat ham but I tried it once, just once, before I became a Rabbi."
Not to be outdone, Father O'leary admitted, "During seminary this beautiful young girl tempted me and I yielded to the lust of the flesh and had sex."
Across the chess board, the old Rabbi grinned, and with a chuckle said, "Better than ham, ain't it?"