NBC Jokes / Recent Jokes

Happy people reported watching an average of 19 hours of TV per week, unhappy people reported 25 hours a week, and manic depressants reported watching 42 hours per week of NBC programming.

If you throw rice at a wedding and the birds eat it, it will expand in their bellies and they will explode. You may as well just throw Mentos and Diet Coke. I thought rainbow colored popcorn would be a good alternative, but it had the same effect, except after the birds ate it and they exploded - they all looked like NBC Peacocks.

Bandleader Kevin Eubanks will reportedly be leaving the Tonight Show Gig with Jay Leno. NBC executives want to get someone less talented.

Jay Leno is making news by suing an author for reprinting his jokes. Ironically, a small town newspaper placed the story under a picture of a cow named Michael Jackson being milked to death.

"A cow named Michael Jackson? Does it moo walk?" - Jay Leno

The 10 nominee's for the " 2009 Emotionally Challenged Female Celebrity Of The Year Award " are as follows,: 1). Liza " With a Z " Minnelli, 2). Elizabeth " Once married a Hilton " Taylor, 3). " Shotgun Sarah " Palin, 4). LaToya " Phantom of the Opera " Jackson, 5). Lindsay " Cat Burglar " Lohan, 6). Debbie " I'll Kick Your Ass " Rowe, 7). Susan " Young Frankenstein " Boyle, 8). Sharon " Bad Karma " Stone, 9). Naomi " Flying BlackBerry " Campbell, 10). Tyra " Tyra Loves Tyra " Banks................The voting will take place at a later date.........................................................................( kascha & whitney )

Hospital officials were heavily criticized following Susan Boyle's visit for rushing into the emergency room and shouting "OH MY GOD! W.T.F. happened to your face?!?!"

Joe Perry recently stated that Aerosmith won't be waiting for Steven Tyler to return to the fold. Well, if they need a singer with a busted face, Susan Boyle's available.