New York Jokes / Recent Jokes

"You can even ask the city hookers. My penis is this big!"

- Governor Eliot Spitzer

Ashley Alexandra Dupre - a.k.a. "Kristen," the call girl linked to disgraced ex-gov Eliot Spitzer, has expressed great chagrin over photos of her currently being used by the media.

"My client may sell her body for use by all sorts of men," said attorney Don D. Buchwald, "but this is just plain disgusting!"

I was once told that I am a physically intimidating person, which is perhaps both the strangest thing I’ve ever heard (little me, intimidating?) and the coolest thing I’ve ever heard (a mere glance will convey the message “Outta my way, sucka, or your head will be pulp” – boy, what power!).

There might be some truth in that. I found that out recently on a New York City street corner while waiting for friends to show up for dinner. While standing around, looking high and low for my party to arrive, a guy came walking down the dark street and into the glow of the streetlight illuminating my spot on the sidewalk. There was something about this guy that looked very familiar, but I couldn’t place it immediately – and it was weird, because I knew the face but it didn’t seem to fit the guy’s body.

Then I realized who it was: Edward Burns, the actor/filmmaker. And when I identified him to myself, I had a double reaction. First, I was appalled to finally more...

I can't believe New York City and the Empire State Building would celebrate the anniversary of Communist China.Our country is further in the Red than I imagined.

The owner of Foley’s Pub in New York City is banning the Song “Danny Boy” for the entire month of March because it is overplayed and depressing.

In the meantime, ‘G7’ on the pub’s jukebox has been replaced with the far less depressing – Rage Against the Machine’s ‘Bullet in the Head.’

A Continental flight dumped jet fuel over New Jersey Sunday. New York is having a raffle to see who gets to light the match.

Dr. Kevorkian was realeased from a Michigan prison Friday after serving an 8 year sentence for second degree murder.
The proponent of assisted suicide for the termially ill maintained his stance saying he still believes a quick death is better than a long slow painful death for those with no hope.

Dr. Kervorkian has been contacted by the New York Yankees