Olympics Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: What's better than winning 4 gold medals at the special olympics?


A: Not being retarded!

Lance Armstrong is on the verge of winning the Tour De France for the 8th time. Just in case the French don’t hate us enough.

Michael Phelps won the gold in the 400 individual medley. Phelps swam so fast, ESPN had trouble keeping their lips on his butt.

While participating is the Olympics a young gymnast had her first sexual experience, going to bed with a stunning foreign participant. Upon returning to her hometown, she promptly went to confession. After receiving absolution, the gymnast was so delighted that she did cartwheels down the aisle to the door. Waiting her turn, Old Mrs. Ole said to her friend, "can you believe what Father Johnson is giving for penance? Of all the days for me not to be wearing panties."

How come nobody from Mexico is ever in the olympics? Because everybody that can Run, Jump, and Swim is already over here. Sent by Paul

I'm not saying Bejing has a lot of pollution, but breathing was just added as an Olympic event.

George W. Bush sent his congratulations on Sunday to Michael Phelps, who won eight gold medals at the Beijing Olympic Games.  Bush told Phelps by phone that he was most impressed by Phelps' effort as a  member of the victorious US 4x100-meter medley relay team.  Bush told Phelps he was amazed at how fast he could swim while clutching a baton.