Pitch Jokes / Recent Jokes
Seeing how the All Blacks were motivated by performing The Haka before their world cup games, the other nations were asked to suggest pre-match rituals of their own....
The England team will chat about the weather, wave hankies in the air and attach bells to their ankles for a while before moaning about how they invented the game, and gave it to the world, and how it's not fair that everyone can beat them now.
The Scotland team will realise they only have fourteen players and recruit a Jamaican living in East Anglia who has never been north of Doncaster.
The Ireland team will spilt into two, with the Southern half performing a Riverdance, while the Northerners march the Traditional route from their dressing room to the pitch, via their opponents dressing room.
Unfortunately the Welsh suggestion has been vetoed by the RSPCA.
Argentina will unexpectedly invade a small part of opposition territory, claim it as their own Las more...
What part of a football pitch smells nicest? The scenter spot!
How did the footbal pitch end up as triangle? Somebody took a corner!
Q: What part of a football pitch smells nicest?
A: The scenter spot!
Q: Why aren't football stadiums built in outer space?
A: Because there is no atmosphere!
Q: What's the chilliest ground in the premiership?
A: Cold Trafford!
Q: How did the footbal pitch end up as triangle?
A: Somebody took a corner!
Q: Which England player keeps up the fuel supply?
A: Paul gas coin!
Q: What does Paul Inces mum make for Christmas?
A: Ince pies!
Q: What does a footballer and a magician have in common?
A: Both do hat tricks!
Q: Which goal keeper can jump higher than a crossbar?
A: All of them, a crossbar can't jump!
Q: Why are football players never asked for dinner?
A: Because they're always dribbling!
Q: Why did the footballer hold his boot to his ear?
A: Because he liked sole music
Start, low pitch, slow: Hhhhheeelllllloooooo thheeeerrrrrrre evvvvveerrrryyyboooodyyyy... Middle, normal:. .. home of Veronica, Jaw-Chyi, Mark, and Mike. Nobody's home... Later, high pitch, fast:. .. liketoleaveamessageafterthetonethen... End, incomprehensible chipmunk gibberish:. .. kkfjdkeirucjkljfklreudjfkleqBEEP
The Chicago White Sox have invited Barack Obama to throw the first pitch on opening day. The New York Mets have invited him to join their bullpen.
After giving his best sales pitch, a life insurance salesman could see that he was no closer to getting the couple to sign up for a policy.
Standing up to leave, he announced, "I really don't want to frighten you into a decision. Please sleep on it tonight, and if you wake up in the morning, give me a call and let me know what you think."