Pitch Jokes / Recent Jokes

Why is the monsters' football pitch wet? Because the players keep dribbling on it.

Why is the monsters football pitch wet? Because the players keep dribbling on it.

QST: How does a cricket commentator describe a nude girl?
ANS: There is no cover, no extra cover, no slip, but 2 silly
points & 2 fine legs, a deep gully... and little grass on the pitch! Will be bit wet after overnight rain. any way It's going to be a fine batting pitch. Good for googlies and better for finger spin.
TAKE A LESSON MURALI! !!

1. The badness of a musical composition is directly proportional to the number of violas in it.
2. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why instrumental parts are written in transposed pitch. (Especially trumpet parts in E.)
3. People who feel the need to tell you that they have perfect pitch are telling you that their sense of relative pitch is defective.
4. The most valuable function performed by a Wagnerian opera is its ability to drown out a rock concert.
5. You should never say anything to a sideman that even remotely sounds like a compliment unless you are prepared to pay double scale.
6. A string sample saved is worthless.
7. Wynton Marsalis can hold all the Lincoln Center Jazz Concerts he wants. Billions of years from now, when Earth is hurtling toward the Sun and there is nothing left alive on the planet except a few microorganisms, the microorganisms will still prefer Yanni.

The Clintons were in front row seats at a baseball game, with Secret Service agents in the row behind them. One of the agents leaned over and whispered something in the President's ear.
The President paused for a moment, then grabbed Hillary by the scruff of the neck and hurled her over the railing. She landed about 10 feet from the dugout, kicking and screaming obsenities.
The same agent leaned over again and whispered in the President's ear, "Mr. President, I said 'they want you to throw out the FIRST PITCH'!"

Boudreaux's first military assignment was to a military induction center and because he was a good talker they assigned him the duty of advising new recruits about the government benefits, especially the GI insurance to which they were entitled.
Before long the Captain in charge of the induction center began noticing that Boudreaux was getting a 99% sign up for the top GI insurance. This was odd because it would cost these poor inductees nearly $30.00 per month more for their higher coverage than what the government was already granting.
The Captain decided that he would not ask Boudreaux about his selling techniques but that he would sit in the back of the room and observe Boudreaux's sales pitch
Boudreaux stood up before his latest group of inductees and stated, "If you have da normal GI insurance and go to Iraq and get killed, the government pays your beneficiary $6,000. If you take out the supplemental GI insurance, which cost you only $30.00 a month, the more...