Prostitute Jokes / Recent Jokes

A woman walks into her accountant's office and tells him that she need to files her taxes. The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask a few questions." he gets her name, address, social security number, etc and asks, "What is your occupation?" The woman replies, " I'm a Whore." The accountant balks and says, "No, no, no. That will never work. This is much too crass. Let's try to rephrase that." The woman says, "OK, I'm a prostitute." "No, that is still too crude. Try again." They both think for a minutes, then the woman states, "I'm a chicken farmer." The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with being a prostitute?" "Well, I raised over 5000 cocks last year!"

Whats the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwin' you once your dead!

A priest wanted to convince a prostitute to turn respectable. So he met with her one day and began slowly warming up to her.
"Oh, my child," he said, "your dress is most lovely."
"Thank you, Father," she replied.
The radio was playing and they danced a little as they talked.
"Oh, my child," said the priest, "your conversation is most lovely."
"Thank you, Father," said the prostitute.
Finally, the priest sat her down and said, "Oh, my child, there is one thing I have against you."
And the prostitute said, "Yes, I know, Father. I felt it while we were dancing."

Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?
A: The prostitute stops fucking you after your dead.

A man approached a prostitute and said, "I'll give you $500 if you'll have sex with me any way I want."
She thought about it for a moment, then told him the price he offered was too low.
"Then I'll give you $800 if you'll have sex with me any way I want," he said. She agreed to that and they headed to a motel room.
As they began to get busy at it, the prostitute suddenly thought to ask, "Exactly how do you want to have sex for $800?"
"On Visa, Honey... on Visa!" he replied.

The father says to his son " son for your first time, I'm gonna get you a prostitute. When the prostitute asks you what you want you say you want the 69 position. The son say's " O. K" So the boy go's up to the room with the prostitute and asks for the 69 position. They begin to do it, and the prostitute accidentilly farts in the boys face. So he gets up and go's to the window and airs out the room, then go's back. They continue the 69 position, and the prostitute farts in the boys face again!. So the boy gets up and go's to the window and airs out the room. They continue this 69 position and the prostitute farts in the boys face for a third time, the boy jumps up and says " if you think i'm gonna do this damn thing 66 more times, you must be CRAZY!

Q: Why did the blonde fail at being a prostitute?
A: Because she gave blow-jobs literally.