Ruled Jokes / Recent Jokes
A federal judge ruled Tuesday that the U.S. government discriminates against blind people by printing paper money that cannot be distinguished by feel.
He also ruled that paper money discriminates against stupid people by requiring them to count and against poor people by not magically appearing in their pockets.
Poor Bunny ;-(
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I'm saddened to announce the passing of "THE ENERGIZER BUNNY"
His death occurred in the early morning on December 21, 1997.
The ENERGIZER BUNNY, known best for "going and going and going..." passed away last evening at 12:42 a.m. Upon completion of the autopsy early in the morning, the chief medical examiner ruled that the death was caused by acute cardiac arrest, induced by sexual over-stimulation. Foul play has not been ruled out.
Apparently, someone put the batteries in backwards and the bunny was found just "coming and coming and coming..."
...a texas appeals court has ruled that the government had no right to remove the FLDS children from their ranch compound...the court has ruled that they should be returned to their mother...and their brothers & sisters...and to their 12 other moms...and whichever one of them is "dad".
The NJ Supreme Court ruled that same-sex couples have the same rights as heterosexuals in a 4-3 ruling yesterday.
The court ruled as follows: "The issue is not about the transformation of the the traditional definition of marriage, but about the unequal dispensation of benefits and privileges to one of two similarly situated classes of people."
Translated: "Think of it as our way of saying to the gay community,'sorry the governor was such a skank.'''
"If Men TRULY Ruled the World!"...
Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack on the behind and a "Nice hustle, you'll get'em next time" would pretty much do it.
Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years.
On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow, you'd get the day off to go drinking. Mother's Day too.
St. Patrick's Day, however, would remain exactly the same. But it would be celebrated every month.
Regis and Kathie Lee would be chained to a cement mixer and pushed off the Golden Gate Bridge for the most lucrative pay-per-view event in world history!
The only show opposite "Monday Night Football" would be "Monday Night Football from a Different Camera Angle".
Instead of "beer-belly", you'd get "beer-biceps".
Tanks would be far easier to rent.
Two words..."Ally McNaked".
Birth control would come in ale or lager.
Garbage would take more...
(AP) The Energizer Bunny, known best for "going and going and going..." passed away last evening at 12: 42am. Upon completion of the autopsy early this morning, the chief medical examiner ruled that the death was caused by acute cardiac arrest, induced by sexual over-stimulation. Apparently, someone put the battery in backwards and the bunny kept coming and coming and coming... Foul play has not been ruled out.
AP December 12, 1999 - The Energizer Bunny, known best for, "going and going and going..." passed away last evening at 12: 42am.
Upon completion of the autopsy early this morning, the chief medical examiner ruled that the death was caused by acute cardiac arrest, induced by sexual over-stimulation.
Apparently, someone put the battery in backwards and the bunny kept coming and coming and coming,...
Foul play has not been ruled out.